Sharing in Grief
by Adere
Summary: At a time when all was supposed to be well, two families are forced to come together in a time when both grieve for their own. The ties of kinship forged through fire are made stronger as some experience pain for the first time, and for others it is only a continuance of the pain that has haunted them for a long time. Rated T for darker chapters.
1. Introduction

_**Sharing in Grief**_

_Intro_

c.3019 TA - present day

"You seemed almost too surprised."

"Well, how was I supposed to feel?"

"You were the one that said we were always like brothers anyway." The younger of the two pointed out.

"Well… yes that is true. Whatever else happens, I will have always considered you my brother."

"As will I. And the same for my younger brothers."

Laughter. "Yes, yes. I remember that quite well."

"Yes… I suppose I never thanked you properly."

"For what? I did what should have been done regardless. Besides, you were a bit shy at first."

"Yes." The younger admitted. "It was intimidating."

"Hmmm… Who knew that would be the beginning of our friendship?"

"I certainly didn't." The younger laughed. "I expected to avoid you the whole time."

"Well, you certainly tried… At least at first…"

"Well, when during that time was our relationship ever calm?"

"Never… it was filled with one storm after another. Or so it seemed…"

**A/N: After the intro, the chapters will occur in the past. On another note, this story can be read with or without reading any of my other LotR fanfiction. It is a part of those stories, but can be read completely separately without any problems. There won't be any major spoilers as this one occurs in a separate time period than any of the others. Thanks for reading, and hope you enjoy! :) **


	2. Meeting

**_Sharing in Grief_**

_First Meeting_

c.1010 TA

Young Haldir, who was nearing half a century, followed behind his father on his horse. This was his first trip out of Lothlórien, and he was nervous. It was an entirely new experience, and it was all the more exciting for visiting another Elven realm. "Ada?" He asked softly. His father glanced back at him.

"Yes?"

"Are we nearing the Palace?" Haldir asked softly.

"Indeed, I believe we shall meet up with a patrol quite soon, half an hour perhaps."

They continued at their comfortable pace, not needing to hurry. Suddenly his father stopped, reigning in his horse. Haldir did the same behind him, and he glanced at his father quite curiously.

"My friends," his father started, "I am here to seek an audience with your king." Haldir frowned. He was young yet, and was yet unable to feel strangers around him. He could sense those of his close kin nearby, and even now he could feel that his mother was still alive and back in Lórien, but his senses had not yet reached out to strangers, even though Elves they may have been.

Out of the shadows of the trees, an Elf materialized to come toward them. Haldir stared with wide eyes, never having seen this kind of Elf with golden hair and vividly blue eyes dressed in such greens and browns. Galadriel might have the blue eyes and the golden hair, but this Elf seemed very different. He was more lithe and not as much time was reflected in his eyes as in Galadriel's. He was also more easily looked in the eye.

"Your names?" The Elf asked, speaking like the trees around them: soft and lilting.

"I am Nemirben, my son is Haldir. We are of Lórien."

"What is it you inquire of my king?"

"We wish to stay here for a little while, perhaps a few months. We have money to pay for our keep, we only need a place to stay."

"What are your reasons for staying?" The Elf asked.

"My son has never been out of Lórien, yet I am one of its chief messengers and ambassadors. My Lady has given me leave to take my son with me." The Elf's eyes inspected them curiously, resting on Haldir's face a little longer.

Finally the Elf turned. "Come with me." He whistled once and a horse appeared from somewhere in the woods. After mounting his horse, he glanced up once, speaking too softly for them to hear. Then he nudged his horse forward and Haldir and his father followed, heading toward the Palace of the Elvenking.

Once they arrived at the Palace, the Elf told them to leave their horses just inside the gate, which had caught the young Haldir wide-eyed. It was not every day one saw the King's gate and it took a gentle nudge from his father to get Haldir to move inside. Once they dismounted, Haldir followed close behind his father, shy but curious at the same time. Inside the entrance hall, the Elf nodded at two guards who acknowledged him and opened the doors to the throne room.

The Elf led them toward the dais, Haldir now half-hidden behind his father as he caught a glimpse of the figures on the thrones. From his position now, he could only see the Queen, and though she looked majestic, she also looked gentle and kind. Her face even had a small smile playing upon it.

They stopped walking, and the Elf leading them bowed before standing aside. Haldir quickly followed his father's example as they too bowed. Upon rising, Haldir got his first full glance of the Elvenking and his face flushed slightly. Thranduil cut an imposing figure on his own throne, even with a crown of wildflowers. Though indeed flowers, they added to his ability to look different from everyone else, and gave him the appearance of a forest creature of himself. Not only that, but the completely disinterested look on his face gave him a merciless expression and his position on his throne imparted to whoever stood before him that he did indeed own his throne, and it would be long, if ever, before someone else sat upon it.

His father then spoke, again of how they wished to stay. Once he was finished, Thranduil's eyes turned upon the young ellon as he stared silently at the king and queen. His eyes were penetratingly blue, and gave off the impression of deep knowledge and wisdom that could only come with millennia worth of life. Deeper yet, Haldir thought he saw a sparkle and glisten to the king's eyes, revealing that even in his royalty he had some sense of humor and love.

Then the Elvenking's eyes turned away from both Haldir and his father. "Legolas," he said. His voice was not as deep as Haldir had expected, but even in its music, there was an undertone of authority not to be questioned. The Elf who had led them hither stepped forward once more. "Show them where they may stay." Legolas inclined his head and motioned to them. Nemirben inclined his head to the king, and Haldir moved to do the same and then followed his father away. He glanced back once, only to find Thranduil's eyes upon his, this time with one eyebrow raised and the sparkle in his eyes more prominent. He turned away, finding the look somewhat confusing before they left the throne room altogether.

* * *

><p>When they were gone, the Queen, Oiolairë, glanced at her husband. <em>He is an interesting little elfling.<em>

_Indeed, he shall be amusing to watch._Thranduil answered, a small smile gracing his lips. Powerful most Elves were, but almost all had a heart for young ones that surprised the mortals who knew no better. Thranduil was no different, his own experiences only softening his heart even more toward little ones.

* * *

><p>Legolas led them to the guest quarters of the Palace. "Someone will come for you when dinner is served. While you are gone, another will come to ready the room for your stay." His stopped before a door to a room and his father smiled at him.<p>

"Thank you." He said. Legolas returned the smile.

"Twas nothing. Enjoy your stay." He said. His gaze fell upon the child following his father, and he smiled again. "Especially you, tithen pen." He said before turning to leave. Haldir watched, quite unabashed, as he left before his father called him into the room. It would be an interesting trip at the least.

* * *

><p>Haldir and his father followed the servant to the dining hall. Now cleaned up, his father and he both wore silver tunics, Haldir looking the miniature of his father. They entered the dining hall, his father stopping and glancing about the room before continuing. The servant placed them close to the Royal family, as foreign guests they would sit here for the first night at the least.<p>

They had not yet begun to sit when the Queen walked through the doors. She smiled at the crowd when they bowed to her, and then she turned, supposedly waiting for her husband. Finally the Elvenking himself walked through the door, and at his side was Legolas, the Elf who had brought them here. Again, the entire hall bowed and the King acknowledged it with a simple nod.

Legolas had cleaned up as well. He was now dressed in blue and silver, with a crown of silver on his head. "Well…" His father murmured. "It seems we were unknowingly in the presence of the Prince."

"Please, sit." Thranduil said as the entire hall still stood on ceremony. There was a quick rustle of movement as everyone sat. As they sat, Haldir discovered that the Prince was now across from him, and he blushed slightly as Legolas' bright eyes examined him once more.

"You clean up nice, tithen pen." Legolas said, seeming to enjoy the nickname he had chosen for Haldir.

"Thank you, Your Highness." Haldir answered softly.

Legolas' eyes sparkled with slight amusement. His lips curled upward slightly as he took a sip from his glass. "How do you like the Palace so far?" He asked.

Haldir looked at the Prince, caught off guard at even being addressed a second time. "I-I think it is very nice." Haldir said, his eyes desperately wanting to turn to his father for advice. He heard a slight laugh to his right, and, upon looking, found it was the Elvenking himself.

"Legolas, you are scaring the child out of his mind. Let him eat, he has yet to touch his food because of you." Haldir blushed slightly at Thranduil's comment, and looked toward his father. His father was in conversation with a different elf, and was hardly paying mind to his son.

Haldir stared at his food, unsure of how to eat it. This time, it was Legolas who laughed. "Come child, you must eat it with your hands." Legolas showed him with the food on his own plate, picking up the food by the stick that Haldir now saw was stuck all the way through it. Haldir picked it up, and timidly tried to take a bite off of it. Legolas' eyes were practically spinning in amusement now, and Haldir tried very hard to dignify the way he was eating.

Thranduil sighed watching the young child. "Legolas, if you would mind not staring at Haldir, I think you are overwhelming him."

"I-I am fine… Your Majesty." Haldir quickly added. He again tried quite hard to look dignified while eating. Thranduil looked at him closer with interest.

"Perhaps," he finally said, "but my son has hardly any right calling you child… he has barely seen his youth come and go." Legolas grimaced at his father. The Queen laughed, but Haldir only held his food loosely, unsure whether to laugh or not. Thranduil was having a hard time keeping from laughing now, but he had no wish to scare the child. He found the child amusing, only because of the way he tried to seem so dignified when he could barely be fifty. The four foot high specimen could hardly seem more than childlike, but he seemed to be a quiet, rather gentle soul.

"My father tends to exaggerate, I have passed my millennia."

"I do believe that is only one millennia, compared to those who have four to five." Oiolairë threw in. Thranduil laughed lightly this time, and Haldir found himself drawn to this kingly figure. He had cut such an imposing and merciless figure, but here he was, lightly teasing his son and laughing with his wife. Haldir knew he had seen the light of humor and love deep down within his eyes, but it seemed it really was not all that far away.

Legolas glanced back at him. "He has only fifty years, why should I not call him a child. I have many times over his age."

"Oh really?" Thranduil asked. "Because I could say the same of you."

"That only makes you old father, not I young." Legolas asked. Thranduil glanced at him, eyes narrowing, before returning his gaze to his own goblet. He lifted it, looking like he was thinking about taking a sip.

"At least you are a good politician." Thranduil muttered before at last drinking. Legolas looked smug, but Oiolairë laughed once more.

"I think he gets that from you."

"Me?" Thranduil asked putting down his goblet. "You manage to manipulate people just as well when you want too. I sometimes wonder what you got me into."

"Ah, but you were quite grateful at the time." Oiolairë answered. Thranduil did not bother replying, simply turning his head away and going back to eating. It only made Oiolairë's eyes sparkle, while Legolas had long started eating once more. Haldir glanced at his food and realized he had barely taken a bite. He lifted his hand and began eating once more, this time with larger bites. Legolas watched him curiously. His face took on a mischievous glance, and it looked like he was about to say something, but then he felt his father's hand on his arm, stopping him.

_Don't, you will only keep him from eating further._Thranduil told him. Legolas inwardly sighed, making sure his father could hear him, before turning to his own food._ You know, I could make you return to your post tomorrow._ Thranduil said. Legolas glanced at him.

_Yes… I suppose you could. _He answered.

_Stop teasing him for the night then. He has barely had time to adjust. I am sure once he does, you may be able to tease him all you want._

_Fine. _Legolas answered. _Perhaps he will adjust quickly._

_Don't hold your breath. _Thranduil said eyeing the young child. He was now eating, though still quite slowly. Haldir glanced up at his father who had finally returned his attention to his son. Thranduil saw the child visibly relax at the attention. He cocked his head and glanced at Legolas who was watching the child as well. Perhaps they would become friends after all. All in good time, of course.


	3. The Elvenking's Offer

_**Sharing in Grief**_

_The Elvenking's Offer_

c.1010 TA

A few months into their stay, Haldir had indeed warmed up to the older Prince who could now tease him and expect some sort of witty response back. Haldir was not much one for open teasing as Legolas was, but he did already have a clever sense of humor that allowed him to take appropriate vengeance whenever the Prince teased him. Legolas found it amusing that the quiet child had a hidden layer of cleverness underneath.

To that end, Haldir and Legolas had begun to have an unlikely, budding friendship. But all things come to an end, and Nemirben was readying to return home.

"Haldir?" He called searching the Palace for his son. Legolas had perhaps influenced him too much even in this short of a time, and the child had an uncanny way of disappearing. He heard laughter coming from one of the gardens and as he walked outside he found Legolas chasing his son through the gardens. Haldir might not have been a well-conditioned warrior, but he was small and he fit through spaces Legolas simply did not.

He had to admit, he had never expected his son to bond with the older Sindar Prince, and certainly not as much as he had. The two were about as opposite as could be. One a Prince, one who would be going between lords and princes as nothing more than a messenger, perhaps a negotiator. As for personality, his own son was quite typically a galadhrim, calm and meditative. The Prince was not Silvan as his people were, but sometimes he was more feral than they were. If he had known it, the Queen herself blamed it on her husband.

Part of him wished to allow Haldir stay, but neither could he impose any longer on the woodland king who barely wished for any visitors. No, he had not offended Nemirben in any way and had actually been rather gracious and more welcoming than rumor would suggest. But still, rumor often has some basis in truth, and even if the king did not say anything, his people were still distrusting of foreigners.

Such it was, that Nemirben went to tell the King he was leaving, and to ask if there was anything else the Elvenking needed to give him for his own Lord and Lady. He found the King in his study. He told the King what he had planned on, and then he waited for a response. Thranduil's eyes studied him for a few moments before he spoke.

"And have you accomplished your true purpose for coming here?" He asked.

Nemirben stared at him. "My lord?"

"You told my son that you brought Haldir because he had yet to visit other nations. If I were to guess, he was not the one who decided to come. The child has less sense of adventure than others, much like everyone else from your nation. He would have been content to stay home. You brought him on your own decision, and I would guess it would be because you are training him to follow in your path- as an ambassador."

Nemirben had underestimated the king's ability to read people so well. "Well, yes that was the intention."

Thranduil re-inspected him and then stood to walk over to a table in the corner. "Wine?" He asked. Nemirben stared at the king once more. Thranduil seemed to know this. Without even turning to look at him, Thranduil poured two glasses without having received an answer. "Your son is a curiosity. As I said, he seems at first to have no sense of adventure. However, when something new happens or something comes across his path that he does not know, his eyes burn with curiosity. He is a small calm and dignified creature, and at the same time he is still a child. An ambassador position I think would suite him well. Though that may only be because he is your son. He could be a lord if he tried." Thranduil seemed to add as an afterthought.

"Perhaps, but he has no ambition in that regard. He is also rather content, and has no… position to be a lord."

Thranduil laughed lightly, and Nemirben found the king an even more insolvable conundrum. "No ambition indeed, neither had I." Thranduil said. Confusion passed through Nemirben's eyes. "I was restless to be sure, but the thought of taking charge of a previously divided people had not crossed my mind. Nor had the thought of being any sort of leader other than a military one. I had less a claim to lordship than he did."

"Then you still had ambition, Haldir-."

"I had restlessness. Ambition was little. I was born a noble, fate made me a pauper, and then my own will gave me rise to the military leadership I was given, though still a far cry from the life I might have had. I had watched my parents in their lordship and wanted the opposite. I had no interest in the life they had led. The offer came unexpectedly and I accepted, for several complicated reasons. At any rate, I had no more drive except for the desire to leave where I was than your son did, less perhaps."

Thranduil finally turned to face him. He held out the second glass of wine, not really offering but insisting. Nemirben took it somewhat cautiously. "Why do you say this?" Nemirben asked.

"Could it not be out of mere kindness?" Thranduil asked. Nemirben looked speechless for a moment. "I suppose not, though it may have been."

"All you tell me is not any message for my lady, and that was my sole purpose in coming to see you."

"And to tell me you were leaving, I do not so easily forget. Indeed, of late I forget even less."

"I still see no reason for you to pursue such a conversation, except to engage my interests."

Thranduil smiled wryly. "For an ambassador you perhaps do not know anything significant about me or my people. Enough perhaps to don our customs whilst you are here, and to compensate for those unknown. That is how we seem to the rest of the world. A world that has barely known us save for seven years at the end of the past age. And there the few customs we had seemed wild, even feral. Tell me, do I seem feral?"

"Nay, Sire, you-."

"You have yet to see me in battle. Nor have you seen me in anything other than a controlled emotion. Perhaps I am feral. Feral and unbridled, just as the horses we ride." Thranduil fell silent and, not knowing how to respond, Nemirben remained so. Thranduil's finger traced the edge of his own wine glass which he had yet to drink from. Nemirben, out of a lack for something to do, took a sip from his own and tried hard not to choke on it.

"Yes, tis a bit strong." Thranduil said off-handedly before continuing more… aware than he had been. "However, in light of my assessment of myself, I must return to the previous topic. As of our estrangement I have alluded too, my nation has no need of full-time ambassadors or anything to the like. If I had ever needed one in the past, I entrusted the job to select Council or Guard members. Now, my son is the obvious and best choice to represent me in any such matters."

"Your son? Is that not dangerous?"

"My son lives for reckless ventures, much as I once did. However, as the parent of one sole child, his safety is concerning. Though those who receive him know who he is, he travels as a normal warrior. And, if he were to be attacked, my son happens to be a formidable opponent, and one of our best archers. The benefits outweigh anything else, as my son is in all aspects my representative. As a Prince, he is one of the most educated ellyn in our borders and possibly others. A very good ambassador for Greenwood." Thranduil ended.

"And what is your purpose, to compare our sons?"

"Indeed," Thranduil said. He inspected him once before he turned again away, he was now facing the fire that burned cheerily though heartlessly. "I realize that your people do not train until they are of age, and it may be that you wish to wait for that to happen. I have no wish to steal your son. I know how I might have felt if someone offered me the same."

"Are you saying-?"

"Your son is talented. I am offering to let him live here and train under the Prince. At what time is up to your discretion, but the offer remains until he is…well… until I am no longer king." Thranduil finally turned to face him. He set his untouched glass of wine on his desk. "You may tell Lady Galadriel we are as of now in good times." Nemirben thought he saw a trace of shadow flit across Thranduil's face, but he recognized a dismissal when he saw one.

As the door closed behind him he thought he might have heard a sigh, and a very quiet, "For now."

* * *

><p>Nemirben approached his son that night. "I spoke to the Elvenking earlier today. He said something surprising and it concerns you."<p>

Haldir's eyes widened, partly in fear, more in curiosity. "What was it?"

"Well I went to him to tell him we planned on leaving soon, I told you this last night." Haldir nodded. "He gave you a long standing offer. He said that at any time we wish, you may come live here for your training to be an ambassador."

Haldir's eyes widened even more. "Me?"

"Yes, you."

"But why?"

"He gave me his reasons, but I am not sure they were the real ones. He seemed to be honest."

"What do you mean?"

"Learn this lesson while you can. Kings, rulers, lords, ladies, they usually have their nation's interests at the forefront of their minds. Politics can lead even the most honest person to lie."

"I have never known him, nor our rulers, to lie."

"Nay, but particularly today, he seemed almost too honest."

"Too honest, is that possible?"

"Perhaps," Nemirben said but did not elaborate. He paused for a second before he continued. "At any rate, if you do take his offer at any time, you must remember that he is yet a king, and that Legolas, however rambunctious and seemingly carefree, is still his son. It may prove to be a good experience for you, especially as you would have to interact with the Royal family daily."

Haldir nodded but he appeared troubled. "I thought Elves were good people."

"They are, and I am not saying the king and his family are not. I am only saying… Thranduil has ever been considered different from all others. Eryn Galen disappeared for a short time almost entirely at one point because of Sauron. Their borders were almost completely closed. His nation reappeared for the Last Alliance when most thought he would not. Even then, he was the least trusted, all for different reasons, some more true of him than others. There is a reason these people are called less wise. Do not discount old reputations out of hand. All I want you to learn is to be wary of any politician, elvish or otherwise, and to be cunning as you represent our nation in front of any other."

Haldir nodded yet again as he seemed to sift through the information. "When do you want me to stay?"

Nemirben thought it over. He knew that, while he had been upbringing Haldir to follow his path, the child would not be allowed to begin training officially in Lórien until he was of age. If he stayed here before that time, it would be much easier for him on the other side of it once he did begin in Lórien.

Considering the matter, Nemirben gave a hesitant answer. "I will leave it to you to decide, but I think it should be before you come of age. I and your mother will miss you at home, but it may be worth it for you to have such experience before you officially begin training. Besides, to you it may not seem it, but we have all the time in the world. You will have plenty of time with us."

Haldir stared at the floor contemplatively for a long time. Finally he looked up, "How long would I stay?"

"That is probably up to you and your teachers. I should not think it would be longer than what you have already lived." Haldir went silent again. Nemirben sat down next to him. "It is your decision. You do not have to leave us."

"What if I stay here now then?" Haldir asked. "It could be over and done with and then I would still have time with you and naneth after it is over before I begin in Lórien."

Nemirben smiled at him warmly. "That sounds like a wise decision. I will speak again with the king tomorrow. I leave in three days, but you may stay." Haldir smiled at his father and his father wrapped one arm around him. "Just remember to be wary, and try not to be such a burden."

"Am I?"

"No, but especially here. I have no want to hear you are on the wrong side of this particular royal family."

* * *

><p>"My lord, if you offer was indeed sincere, would it be convenient for my son to stay here now?" Nemirben asked Thranduil the next day.<p>

"There is no time particularly inconvenient or convenient, but yes he may stay. If you are completely sure." Thranduil said. "And if you are, you may also be assured that he will be well taken care of." Nemirben nodded and then dismissed himself.

Such it was that Nemirben said good-bye to his son, assuring the child that he and his mother would write. Once he had left, Haldir sought out Legolas. "Am I still staying in the same guest quarters?"

Legolas looked at him thoughtfully. "The rooms are a little large for just one person, yes?" He asked. Haldir nodded. "Nay, you do not have too. We have smaller ones…" Legolas suddenly trailed off, taking on an even more thoughtful look. "There is an old room…" He started and then motioned to Haldir and took off.

Legolas had never considered the room before. It had been built just outside the Royal Wing. The only occupant had been the Captain of the Guard in the Second Age who had only occupied it because it was necessary. Taenron had also occupied it for a short time during the Last Alliance before Oiolairë had moved him even closer into what would be Legolas' room years later when things got darker.

"I have never entered this room before. If it is a good room to you, it will be made ready for you to move in. The room has not been used in this Age."

Haldir followed Legolas curiously, and it only grew as they neared what he knew was the Royal Wing. Legolas stopped right before the official entrance. To the left was a simple door, and being right next to such an extensively detailed Wing, looked out of place. "The room was added after the Palace was finished." Legolas said, apparently thinking the same thing.

He pushed open the door and they both peered inside. There was a small window that allowed light in. It protruded slightly and had a seat set in it. The foyer was little else except for a torch. Legolas seemed almost as curious as Haldir. They went to the door on the right and found a small washroom. It was obviously made for someone who did not expect much leisure. After finding the washroom decent for necessity, they went to the door on the left of the foyer.

This room was less lighted. Legolas found a torch on the wall and lit it so they could see. Both stared around somewhat dumbfounded. The room was small but cleverly built. The floor space made an L-shape, but a closet on the short side made it known that the room was a square at one time. The closet was found acceptable as they examined it.

Opposite of the closet was a dusty bookshelf with only one lonely book resting on it. Next to the door on the right, and to the side of the bookshelf, was the only furniture they had found for comfort. It was a chair with a small footstool and a side table with enough room for an oil lamp.

The part that had the two ellyn dumbfounded shared the wall of the closet as well as the dimensions of width. It was longer, but that was because a fully grown ellon had to be able to sleep there.

Two pillars ran up either end of this indention and were shaped like trees. Halfway up the wall a board ran lengthwise and the bed rested on top of it. Underneath the bed was a desk with another oil lamp and plain chair. The only ladder to the bed was the tree pillar on the far right whose branches had been cleverly placed to act as a ladder.

"Who designed this?" Haldir asked fingering the polished wood.

"I am not sure."

"Twas Tawarthion," Thranduil's voice came from the doorway. Both younger ellon's turned their faces to his.

"Not you?" Legolas asked.

"Nay, I was indisposed." Thranduil answered.

Legolas glanced once more over the room. "What brought you here?"

"I passed by and the door was open for the first time in a thousand years." Thranduil said smiling. "I guessed you were seeking a smaller room for Haldir." Legolas nodded.

Thranduil's eyes ran over the room. "Is it too small?" He asked. "Twas never meant to be a permanent residence."

Haldir shrugged. "I think it will be fine."

Thranduil smiled. "At least some use will be made of it."

"I would have stolen this room if I had known it was like this."

"Which is why I never showed it to you." Thranduil told his son. "I did not need you running off on me."

The look on Legolas' face made both Thranduil and Haldir laugh.


	4. Lost Hope Newly Awoken

_**Sharing in Grief**_

_Lost Hope Newly Awoken_

c.1010-1059 TA

"Every morning I have to train, but we can start at the tenth hour every day."

"Train? With weapons?" Haldir asked.

"Yes, my Adar found it necessary that I be proficient and that I could defend myself. Besides, I enjoy it. It keeps my mind and reflexes sharp and allows me to release both energy and anger." Legolas glanced at Haldir. "I suppose you could join me. I could teach you. I began training… at least officially, at you age."

"I don't want to be a warrior." Haldir said.

"Nay, but the ability to defend yourself will keep you from having to take a guard with you on trips. You by no means have too. It is a suggestion only."

Haldir appeared thoughtful. Legolas watched him rove through the information with care. He was certainly more thoughtful than Legolas had ever been when it came to these things. Legolas had mostly dived headlong and hoped the pool was deep. Something else that his mother blamed his father on.

"You may be right." Haldir said softly. "Perhaps I should try."

"That's the spirit." Legolas said grinning.

* * *

><p>A few years later, Haldir had returned to his home for a month, to see Orophin's birth, then he had returned to Greenwood. He knew he had not yet accomplished what had been set forth for him in Greenwood, and he hoped to accomplish it before his childhood was over. Truthfully, he hoped it would be over right around his first century, and then he would spend his last twenty-five years home with his parents and now younger brother.<p>

A deep bond formed between Haldir and Legolas by the time those fifty years since Haldir had first come to Greenwood passed. The bond that had developed between the young child and Legolas had been amusing and at the same time beautiful to watch. At first glance they seemed to be complete opposites, but apparently their differences served them well, and the two young Elves had become brothers in all but blood.

As promised, Legolas had taught Haldir the basics of archery and some skill with a blade, though both leaned toward archery more than anything else. Haldir, it also seemed, might be better with a normal Elven blade than Legolas' style of fighting with two long knives. Still Haldir pressed more toward being something much calmer than a warrior and continued the studies he had stayed in Greenwood for. Thranduil himself had seen Haldir working with Legolas on both accounts, and secretly held to the thought that if he was fully trained he might be a formidable warrior. However, Thranduil was not one to push someone, especially a foreign child, toward the hard life of a warrior and so kept his mouth shut.

It would not be long before Haldir made the transition himself, but until he did the king remained silent. It would also not be long, however, before two families of their kingdoms came to a time of sharing in grief.

* * *

><p>As it seemed Haldir's time in Greenwood was ending, the king unwillingly dwelt more and more on the relationship between his son and the galahdrim. As he watched Legolas interact as an older brother toward the foreigner, he sighed with regret over the two stillborn children that had come to life already dead soon after Legolas' own birth. He constantly reminded himself that dwelling on past regret held nothing but destruction and swept the thoughts from his mind. As it seemed, however, these kind of thoughts never truly leave.<p>

On this particular night, Thranduil walked into his chambers as the sun was descending. Oiolairë was not there yet but by the time he had readied for bed she was. "You actually came to bed on time." Oiolairë said, one brow raised.

"I have been oft of late." Thranduil said. "Things are running smoothly for once." He said kissing her forehead. Before he could even lay down, Oiolairë's body pressed against his her lips finding his.

"I love you too." Thranduil said laughing slightly. Oiolairë hardly bothered answering. He wanted to respond, but something felt wrong. "What are you doing?" He asked softly. She stared at him for a minute before she spoke.

"What do you think?"

"Well, that is what I thought, but normally you are not this aggressive." Thranduil said, raising an eyebrow at her.

"It has been long." Oiolairë said.

"It was yesterday." Thranduil replied, a hint of a sparkle in his eye.

"Does it matter?"

Thranduil frowned. "No, but for some reason… Oiolairë." She just looked at him, waiting before her lips started to descend on his again. _Why are you doing this?_ Thranduil asked, he felt waves of her emotions hitting him, and the content of them was what worried him.

_Trust me love. _She said and suddenly everything became clear to him. He had not been the only one to realize how much Haldir and Legolas had bonded.

"No," Thranduil said and pushed her off of him. She looked startled, hurt. He ignored the look on her face for a moment as he sat up. "You cannot do this." He said, voice choking.

"Trust me, I can do this." Oiolairë said.

"I trust you with everything," Thranduil said, "But this… you will only get hurt again."

"Please, Thranduil." She said softly reaching to kiss him again. He pulled his face away and she paused.

"I cannot let you do this." He said.

"What are you going to do?" Oiolairë asked. "Keep from our bed for the rest of our immortal lives?" Thranduil looked at her hurt, before he stood and crossed the room.

"I have no wish to." Thranduil said, voice strained. "Surely you realize why." Oiolairë stood and walked over to him, pressing her hand against his chest.

"You do not control this." Oiolairë said. "You have to let me try."

"We have tried, love." Thranduil said now sounding weary. "Come, we both need rest."

"No!" Oiolairë said more vehemently. "I am going to do this!"

"How?" Thranduil asked. "If I refuse…"

They stared at each other, emotions colliding without reason to control them. "Please." Oiolairë begged him. Thranduil's eyes fell to the floor, not being able to look her in the eye anymore.

"I know why you think we should." Thranduil said. "But why do you want to do this to yourself?"

"Why?" Oiolairë asked incredulously. "Because I can do this, I did it once. I can do it again."

"Do not tempt fate." Thranduil said. "Legolas made it, but two others did not. What if it happens again? What happens to you then? What happens to me? Beyond that, what happens to all of Greenwood?" Her eyes fell and he continued more gently. "Love, it would be wonderful, but we cannot continue to hurt ourselves. This is only a road of pain."

"And potential joy." Oiolairë said. "Just give me, us, one more chance."

Thranduil looked at her hesitantly. "Oiolairë…"

"Please, it will not happen this time. Our child will be born- alive." She insisted.

Thranduil sighed. "I do not want to see you hurt. And what about Legolas?"

"He wants to be an older brother. You can see it in his eyes every time he talks to Haldir."

"Can you tell me in all honesty that this is not a result of seeing the bond between those two?" Thranduil asked.

Oiolairë looked in his eyes, mouth opening slightly before closing once more. "No," she said softly. "But I can give Legolas a sibling. I know I can."

"We know it is possible." Thranduil said. "But there is too much risk. I would have given the world several times over for our other two to be born alive, but to try again might mean suicide."

"I know that, I promise you I will not fade. Please, just let me try." Thranduil closed his eyes and turned so that he was leaning on the edge of their balcony staring out over the gardens.

"I am scared for you. You may not fade but would you live with joy?" He said softly.

"Trust me, please." She begged again.

He finally sighed. "And if we fail?"

"I will stay by your side." She said. Thranduil looked in her eyes and saw a desperate determination. He knew that if he really wanted to refuse her he would have to separate them in a way that should never happen for possibly the rest of their lives. His heart melted in more compassion than passion for her. Her emotions told him she wanted nothing more. He turned to her fully and sighed.

"Okay," he said, "But you have to promise me that if it ends the same way-."

"It won't."

"If it does," Thranduil said, "You will not ask this of me again."

Oiolairë looked conflicted. After a long pause she sighed. "If I fail, then I will not ask again." She said sounding defeated. Thranduil put his hands on her shoulders and she looked up at him.

"We will do everything we can to try to ensure that the result is not the same." Thranduil said gently. "Perhaps the Valar will take mercy on us." Oiolairë smiled softly at him.

"They will." She insisted. Thranduil kissed her, softly, more a sign of apology and compassion than anything else. She sighed as they broke apart. "I love you," she said softly. He said nothing, but pulled her close: a sign of protection and love all at the same time.

* * *

><p>Legolas watched his parents worriedly after that night for a while. He had no idea what happened, only that one day his parents were normal, the next his father had become silent and Oiolairë had become almost buoyant. Haldir seemed to notice as well, but he said nothing as was usual with his nature.<p>

Finally, Legolas confronted his father after his father had lost part of his control.

_It was another Council meeting. Nothing had seemed out of the ordinary, but Legolas could feel his father's growing tension and it worried him. Thranduil was sitting trying to maintain a passive outlook while a younger member and Rimedur were debating different sides of a simple trade agreement. The Elves of one House were particularly good at making clothes, while another specialized in hunting. And apparently there was a deficit between the amount of clothes traded for the amount of meat. _

**_Ada? _**_Legolas asked. He was only more worried when Thranduil did not answer him. Finally Thranduil stood. _

_"Look, both items are necessary to both Houses. If one of them needs more food, by all means give it to them, but if not than it is not worth it." He said and left the room. All of them stared after him. Legolas sighed frustrated. _

_"Continue if you must. If not then you may go on your way for the day."_

Legolas then went searching for his father. Thranduil was in his study alone when Legolas walked in. Thranduil raised his eyes and seemed to sigh when he saw the look in Legolas' eyes. "Ada, I know something is wrong. Even with your typical off-balance nerves, this would not normally happen."

Thranduil looked like he would rather be elsewhere but he sighed. "Nothing is wrong, las."

"Nothing? Naneth is acting like all of her dreams have come true and you act like you have a death sentence on your head."

"Legolas," he started.

"Tell me," Legolas insisted.

"Just like your mother." Thranduil muttered. Then he looked at Legolas. "Nothing is wrong so to speak." He said softly. "But for now this needs to stay quiet. Do not even tell Haldir." Legolas stared at him for a minute before nodding. Thranduil glanced down once at his desk before his eyes lifted again. "Your nana is pregnant." Legolas' eyes widened and he paled before sinking into a chair.

"But why?" Legolas asked, knowing full well two others had never made it and that Elves could decide when they wanted a child to be born.

"She insisted." Thranduil said, voice sounding weak and weary again. "She thinks it will be different this time."

"What if it is not?" Legolas asked.

"Do you think I would relent without asking the same question?" Thranduil asked. Legolas quieted. Finally Thranduil sighed again. "I am sorry if I have been quiet. Between running the kingdom and making sure this does not kill her my mind has been full."

"I could help." Legolas said, looking at his father concerned.

"No," Thranduil said, "I will not put extra burden on you. If anything keep an eye on your mother. She is acting happy so that she does not fall into despair. She thinks if we are both optimistic everything will be fine. She seems to forget we were optimistic about your first brother as well, and we were more pessimistic with you. If nothing else, pray someone has mercy on us. I am not sure she will survive."

"What about you?" Legolas asked.

Thranduil looked down. "I have you." He said, raising his eyes slowly. "I will not leave the burden of a kingdom to you so quickly."

"Even in the event of fading?" Legolas asked.

"If I did not fade before your birth I do not think I will now. If I leave Ennor I will Sail or be killed. I do not plan on either. I am not sure what would happen if your mother left, but I will not leave right away- if given the choice."

Legolas nodded slowly. "I hope this goes well."

"We all do." Thranduil said, a thin smile on his lips.

But neither father nor son really believed there was much hope.


	5. A Reason to Mourn

_**Sharing in Grief**_

_A Reason to Mourn_

c.1060 TA

When it became obvious and a secret was no longer easily held, Legolas finally told Haldir everything. "So you had two other siblings?"

"Yes, both male." Legolas said twirling a leaf around his fingers as they sat in a clearing in the woods. He watched the leaf intently before sighing. "Neither survived childbirth."

Haldir's face frowned, but he was yet innocent and did not truly understand. "So what will happen this time?"

"In reality or in hope?" Legolas asked dryly. Then he sighed once more. "Hopefully the child will be born healthy and strong. It is all we can hope for."

"Will you be okay? I can leave so you can be with your family. I am practically done." Haldir said.

"No!" Legolas' voice came out in a hurried, almost desperate tone. He quickly stopped himself and breathed deeply once before continuing. "Please, you do not have too, but teaching you has been keeping me sane these past few months. Stay until the child is born, and then return to your family. If you must… I suppose you may return home, I cannot truly stop you. I just…"

Haldir looked at the older Prince in curiosity and pity for a long moment. Then he glanced out at the trees surrounding them, seeking his answer in the trees. "I… I suppose I can." He said softly.

Legolas glanced back at him more keenly. Haldir was now avoiding his gaze. "Have you received word from home?"

Haldir was quiet for a minute. Then he slowly shook his head.

"Still nothing?" Legolas asked. "But this has never happened before." Haldir quickly stood and turned his back on Legolas.

"No," Haldir said and even with his back turned, Legolas could hear the tone of worry and sorrow in his voice. Haldir had written them over and over again in the past two years and no word had returned. There was only silence. Haldir had said little of the matter, but Legolas had seen restlessness start to come over the younger ellon as he yearned for home.

Legolas stood and walked over to Haldir, putting his hand on Haldir's shoulder. "I have been selfish." Legolas said. "Please, do not consider my words. Go home, seek the answer of your troubles. Perhaps you may return once your training there is over before you begin truly working. And who knows? You may end up being ambassador here anyway."

Haldir had tensed under him. "I do not know what to do." Haldir said softly. "It… it _feels_ like everything is fine. Both my father and mother are healthy, and I would feel their sorrow if something happened to Orophin. Perhaps they do not want me to come back."

"You cannot think they do not wish for your return?!" Legolas asked horrified. He spun Haldir around to face him. "You are still their son!"

Haldir nodded, but it seemed rather miserable to Legolas. "I am."

"Then you should go home!" Legolas said fervently.

It was Haldir's turn to sigh. "Then why have they not wrote? You said yourself this is out of the ordinary. Perhaps Orophin is taking up their time and attention."

"Yes, but once my sibling is born, do you not think they will receive more attention and time than I will for a time? Children need more attention, and they know you are well taken care of. It is not that they do not love and miss you, it is that they are focusing on Orophin because he needs it. And maybe if you return you will be able to help the child."

Haldir considered it. Then he spoke, "I shall write once more, tell them I am done and that I can come home. If they do not answer… I shall stay with you as you asked and then return and face whatever I must."

Legolas looked at Haldir worried before he gave in. "So be it, but I still… Do not let me keep you here. I am a grown ellon, whatever others might say. I have been through this before, and I will make it through again. You are free to do what you must."

Haldir only nodded.

* * *

><p>Long months passed with no word from home. Haldir remained quiet on the issue, and Legolas decided not to press him. Haldir was his distraction, however, with his own family's concerns and Thranduil was personally glad Legolas had someone to do such this time around. It was actually far better this way than it had been before.<p>

In this fashion, the time for the child to be born snuck up on all of them so that the day had come.

For a time, it seemed as if everything had gone perfectly well. "I told you." Oiolairë said as she held their daughter in her arms. Thranduil smiled, but he felt something had gone wrong. The baby was quiet, almost too quiet. Its eyes were open and staring at them in curiosity, but not a sound came from its mouth. Not only that, its eyes were duller than they should have been.

His suspicion was confirmed when the child coughed once. Fear overcame him then, almost in a wave. He had never been gifted with foresight, but his gut feelings in this matter had hardly ever been wrong before. He closed his eyes. Oiolairë seemed still oblivious at this point. Perhaps it was well she had been drugged. Legolas was not as oblivious. He took one look at his father's face and knew. Legolas left the room without a word, and a few minutes later a healer entered while Legolas stayed in the hallway.

"Here," Thranduil said, taking the child from Oiolairë's arms as gently as possible. "You should rest." Oiolairë looked like she would protest but her eyes dropped quickly. Then the child coughed again. The healer looked at the king warily. "I know," Thranduil said softly. "Can anything be done?" The healer slowly shook her head. Thranduil sighed, sitting on a chair, cradling his child gently. _After everything she did…_ Thranduil thought. This child had his eyes, even if she looked more like her mother.

The daughter they had never had. One they were not going to keep.

"I am sorry, Your Majesty." The healer said quietly. Thranduil glanced up at her for a moment.

"There is nothing you could do." He said. The healer was looking at him fearfully, knowing everything the king had been through and doubting the king's strength to remain alive. "I am not going to die." Thranduil said even as he winced as the child coughed again. The healer walked over to him and pressed her hand on the child's forehead.

"I might be able to help some." She said. Thranduil hesitated and then handed the child over. He sat there silent, both resignation and sorrow deepening together in his soul. He was not sure if he should wake his wife. He had no desire to watch her suffer through this either, but he did not want her to wake and find the child dead or dying. His ears could hear the child's every cough, even though it came from the room next door, and with every cough his hold on his emotions grew less.

Such it was that Oiolairë woke up on her own, probably because of her husband. Thranduil heard her stir and looked at her. She sat up, confused, but even that deepened as she saw that Thranduil held no child in his arms. Some sort of explanation must have been seen in his eyes or through their bond even with the king trying to shield her from it, because her face paled and she tried to get out of bed. Thranduil stopped her, hushing her gently and pressing her back down.

"What's wrong?" She whispered.

A cough, louder than before reached them. Her face paled even more, and Thranduil realized she had bonded with this child more than any other in an attempt to keep it alive.

He knelt next to her and forced her to look at him. "Please, love, whatever is about to happen. You cannot leave me now." Oiolairë was shaking and tears started streaming out of her eyes.

"My daughter…" She said weakly, struggling against him. Thranduil held her still, his arms wrapping around her gently but firmly.

_Please…_ Thranduil petitioned to whoever was out there listening. He was not sure the Valar were watching them anymore what with the newly descended darkness and the two children he had already burned. _Just this once. _

Oiolairë started crying more heavily, as if she knew the fate of the child. The healing ward went silent then, the coughing stopped for a minute. Then the healer re-entered. The baby was still alive, but she would not be for long. Its face was weak and pale. Its eyes no longer resembled its father's, so dark they were. Thranduil let go of Oiolairë enough for her to take the child. The healer left silently.

"Thranduil…" Oiolairë's voice was weak. "Please…"

_I am helpless._ Thranduil thought. He was silent, only pulling his daughter and wife closer. _Why has fate turned against us? _He wondered as the child grew weaker and weaker. He closed his eyes, pressing a kiss to Oiolairë's cheek before her body melted into his.

"What have we done?" Oiolairë asked him.

"I don't know." Thranduil said softly. He let his finger trace the fragile child's face in front of him and the child looked up at him. It had a lingering trace of hope and recognition in its eyes, but even as their eyes met, the light went out in one. In his arms, Oiolairë collapsed.

* * *

><p>Outside Legolas sat dejectedly waiting for anything to come from the room in front of him. Haldir was with him, remaining as silent companionship. It would be not too long later that Haldir started feeling sorrow as well, but for now it was only compassion for Legolas. Finally, when the healer walked out, Legolas raised his eyes slightly, but the look on the healer's face coupled with the sadness in his own fëa told him otherwise.<p>

Legolas started a few minutes later when he felt his mother collapse and he ran into the room. Thranduil glanced up at him but was gently setting Oiolairë back down. "She just went into shock." Thranduil said softly before extracting the now dead child from his wife's arms. "I think she will live."

"Will you?" Thranduil seemed to inspect himself first before he nodded.

Legolas could tell that there was a lot more emotion hidden beneath his father's exterior than he was letting through. The way his eyes kept trailing to the Princess in his arms told Legolas something more was happening. Thranduil, however, sighed and leaned back against a table. "I will be fine." He reassured Legolas. "I told you I would not leave you now."

"No, but I am not sure how much you can take."

Thranduil smiled thinly. "I am not sure, but this is not the final straw. Not yet."

"What are we going to do?"

"Mourn," Thranduil said softly. "And pray your mother will survive."

Legolas stood there silently for a few minutes. "Will she be able to handle the pyre?"

Thranduil's eyes turned concerned to his wife. "I don't know." He said. Legolas examined his father closer. Something was different this time. Perhaps it was the fact that the other two had left Ennor before they had even come out of his mother's womb and this one had been alive for some hours, but his father was acting differently this time. The first he had gone into complete shock, numb and horrified at the same time. That was to be expected, it was rare ellith lost their children and even rarer that no odd or evil circumstance preceded it.

The second Thranduil had turned angry, not at Oiolairë, never had Legolas seen his father angry at her. No, Legolas had never been able to pinpoint the exact target of his anger unless it was himself, but it had seemed like he was angry at the world itself. Legolas had followed his father when he had stormed out of the Palace in concern that he would hurt himself. Instead, he heard a very colorful tirade against the universe in general until the king had exhausted himself to the point of finally allowing himself sorrow.

This time- this time it seemed as if his emotions, though sorrowful, were almost- calm. A thing unheard of until now. Yes, Thranduil displayed extraordinary control against his own self on every day occasions. Had he not, the world might have been a very different place (though that is a story for another day). But when things hit this close, when someone closely bonded to the king was hurt this deeply, the king had never before been this calm.

Even more unusual, it had nothing to do with wine which- much to Thranduil's later regret- had been a major source of recovery after Legolas' first brother's death.

"You do not have to examine me so closely, ion." Thranduil said after silence had passed in a long reverie. "You can speak freely."

Legolas still stared at his father. His arms still wrapped around the child as if it were living, but everything in his countenance suggested he knew and had accepted the truth. "You… you are different." Legolas finally said.

"You will find that the more you lose, the more you will change." Thranduil said softly after considering Legolas' statement. "It is said- and quite accurately- that Elves change very little. For all purposes to those not graced, or perhaps condemned, with immortality that is true. However, every time I have seen, or experienced myself, an Eldar lose something dear and valuable, they change. It may be subtle or it may be ostentatious. But they all change. I became… harder when I lost my parents. Colder when I recovered from near death. Shadowed, perhaps, after the Last Alliance. The changes were less obvious in this Age, but changes they were. After all this has happened, even though sorrow even now threatens to subdue me as it has your mother, mostly from her, something is different as you said. I like you, am not quite sure what it is, but there it is all the same." Thranduil cocked his head. "So what say you?"

"That you are certainly right." Legolas said, his voice hardly more than a whisper. "You seem stoic almost, but yet I feel your emotion raging. At the same time… I do not think you are about to lose control."

Thranduil smiled grimly. "A most accurate statement. I am sure the wall will break at some point. When that is, I do not know. But it will nonetheless. Remember that, even the strongest walls can break when they are made too."

Legolas, in the future, would look back and regret that he did not mention it to Theoden at Helm's Deep, particularly when the wall was brought down after his own failure to kill the Orc who did it. Now, however, in the present, Legolas was more concerned for his family. "Well, I shall pray the wall breaking does not damage many." Legolas said and then glanced at his mother. "What happens to her, Ada? Even if she does survive?"

Thranduil's eyes strayed to his wife, whose pale face and shaken countenance showed how hard this had hit her. The first time… they had been too shocked to fade. The second, too confused. This time, this time perhaps… He looked back at his son. "If you were any younger I might lie and tell you she will return to normal and become very much herself once more, but I cannot tell you that now. You are far older and have seen much that you shouldn't. I don't know what will happen to her. She might recover and live for a new day, or she might not. If she does live, well, she will have to return to joy on her own. What that will be like… I don't know."

Legolas only sighed. Concern and worry filled him but he said nothing more, only remained with his father in silence.


	6. Grief Comes to Another

_**Sharing in Grief**_

_Grief Comes to Another_

c.1060 TA

Haldir had left the royal family alone, as had most Elves in the Palace, and a deep sense of loss and sadness overcame him, though he knew not why. He figured it must have been because of how close he and Legolas had become.

The day of the child's funeral came, and it was during the songs, those mournful songs that made the trees sad and the forest somber, that for whatever reason, watching this child burn, Haldir broke. He sank to the ground, an even deeper hole forming inside of him. Tears started streaming down his face as he buried it in his arms. Legolas had glanced at him confused, but he did not leave his parents side.

Taenron stood hidden from the fire light watching the family. He had intercepted a messenger before it could interrupt the funeral, or worse tick off the king, and now stood waiting to see if any of them would be able to receive the letter. Thranduil and Oiolairë finally left after the last of the wood had burned down, though Legolas remained staring. Haldir was still rocking himself on the ground, though Taenron did not notice this as the trees were now hiding him from view.

Taenron approached Legolas. "My Prince," he said softly. Legolas looked at him, sadness in his eyes.

"What is it?"

"A messenger arrived but I intercepted him. He said that it was urgent this letter was received."

"For the king?" Legolas asked.

Taenron shook his head. "For Haldir." Legolas glanced surprised first as Taenron and then through the trees at the child but Haldir was still caught in some overwhelming grief. It had not made sense that he would be so conflicted over another's child, but this made sense. A feeling of dread overcame the Prince, wondering what could both cause Haldir so much pain and a letter to be sent from his home. Even after writing his parents to request to come home, no word had ever come.

Legolas took the letter and debated opening it himself. He knew, that somehow the letter and Haldir's grief were connected and he was not sure Haldir could open it himself.

Finally, Legolas opened the letter and let his eyes scan it. He felt even worse.

_Ion nin, _

_You must return home at once. I do not know how to say this in a letter, but you should know. Your mother is dying. The birth was too much for her. Rúmil is fine though- that is your baby brother. I am going to Sail when your mother, well, as soon as you return. Come home._

_Your Father._

Legolas' fingers trembled slightly. His mother was gone. That must have been it for nothing else would have caused Haldir to react the way he was. His mother must have died before this letter was received and Greenwood's own grief had simply disguised what was causing the child's own. Legolas thoughts spun.

If Haldir now was orphaned, as his father was Sailing, that meant he was also now in charge of his two younger siblings. He had twenty-five more years before he came of age. Twenty-five years in which he would have to care for two younger than himself and put food on the table without an income. And one of the children was a newborn babe. He would have to hire a nursemaid as well.

Three children had to be raised without a mother. Legolas sighed watching Haldir. He tucked the letter into his tunic and picked the young child up. He carried Haldir to his own room thinking of the awkward climb that he would have to make to put Haldir on his bed and instead laid him on Legolas' own bed where Haldir curled into the blankets, still crying.

Legolas left the room, wondering if what he was thinking of was possible. His own parents were in utter despair, the pain of this happening for the third time only worsening their grief. Thranduil would be a touchy thing for the next year, maybe more. Everyone would be avoiding stepping on his toes, and those who did would more than wish they had not.

And if that person was a child? Legolas sighed, wondering if he should ask his father about this or not. He desperately wanted to help the now orphaned children, but he wondered if this mournful Palace was the place to do it. Though, their own home would hold the same mournful tune for them as well. And what of his own mother? How would she take the sight of a newborn babe? Could he with a clean conscience bring to her what she had not been able to have since he was born?

He reread the letter in his hand. No, there was no way Legolas would allow Haldir to return home to let them become beggars. Haldir was like his brother, and no brother of his would be reduced to begging for food.

Legolas arrived at the balcony above his family's gardens and stared out at the deep in thought for a long time.

"Legolas?" He turned, his father stood behind him toward the end of the hallway. Thranduil walked up to him, concern and sadness in his eyes. "You are conflicted." Thranduil said simply. Legolas looked down at the letter and the nodded. Thranduil glanced at the letter, confused as to why he was not the one to receive it.

"Taenron gave me this. It is from Lórien, and is supposed to be for Haldir." Legolas said. Thranduil reached for the letter but Legolas pulled it back. Thranduil's eyes glittered with surprise and Legolas sighed.

"Did you notice Haldir's reaction tonight?"

Thranduil hesitated. "Not really, I-." Thranduil broke off and Legolas looked away, towards the forest where hundreds of lights still marked the places where the Elves sang.

"He was grieved to a point of sorrow he should only have felt if he were actually my brother." Legolas said softly. "I was confused by it, but said nothing. Then Taenron gave me this and said it was from his home, and I understood. I read the letter and knew instantly why Haldir felt like he did."

Thranduil's eyes were now widened, partly in surprise but mostly in sorrow. "Who?" He asked.

"His mother died… in childbirth." Legolas held his breath as Thranduil's eyes first widened, then narrowed, then flashed, and finally dampened. "His father put in the letter that he plans on Sailing, leaving Haldir to care for two younger siblings."

Thranduil sighed and walked to the balcony where his hands gripped the rail tight enough to make his knuckles whiten. Two kingdoms with two similar fates. In one, the mother had died to leave three behind. In the other, the child had died to also leave three behind. "Haldir has been summoned to leave for home as quickly as possible." Legolas said. Thranduil remained silent, a thing that would become prominent in his character for the next few years.

"I know things are going to be sober here," Legolas finally dared, "But he cannot care for two younger siblings when he himself is not of age. He has no family, besides one aunt he has told me about, and she has enough children to take care of on her own."

Thranduil bowed his head, clearly sorrowed and Legolas could feel he was also feeling angry and helpless that he could not save the child his wife had struggled so hard to bring into the world. For the third time.

"If they will be better off here… then I cannot turn them away." He finally said, his voice soft to prevent it from breaking. "They will notice that things are tense here though." Legolas nodded slightly.

"I know, but will their home, full of their parents' memories be any better?"

"Maybe," Thranduil said. "There is no guarantee of anything being better here."

"At least they will have food." Legolas said. Thranduil slowly turned to face him, his face was completely drained of emotion, but his eyes contained deep sorrow.

"Do what you will." He said before leaving the balcony. Legolas sighed, thinking deeply.

* * *

><p>When Haldir finally awoke the next day he felt calmer, though he still carried a great weight on him that he could not place. Confused and slightly scared, he went in search of someone to tell him what was going on. He had no idea what to think, especially at finding himself in Legolas' room, and the pain on his heart only made him more confounded.<p>

He heard commotion in the Palace and he walked toward the throne room. Peeking in from the side entrance, he saw Thranduil stride into the room angry. He also saw a Dwarven party sent to Thranduil for some reason he had yet to figure out. The Dwarves seemed to be pleading for something, or making a strong case for it anyway, and Thranduil simply looked like he was getting more and more agitated. A dangerous position at best. The Dwarves finally said something that cut Thranduil's last nerve and he stood, replying with icy harshness in his voice and he thrust something at the Dwarves' feet. Then he turned on his heel, marching out the door with his jaw clenched.

The Dwarves muttered among themselves before they left, and rumors, already whispered but now spread wild of an Elvenking's hate for the race. But Haldir did not know this. He only was able to gage what he saw, and since he had seen Thranduil's sorrow the night before, his young mind told him it had something to do with that. He had no mind to encounter the king now, so he went in search of Legolas who he found somber in the family's garden.

Legolas started when Haldir called his name, and when he looked at Haldir there was an abnormal amount of sorrow on his face even for the situation. "Legolas?" Haldir asked again.

"Come over here," Legolas said and Haldir moved to sit by him. "You felt great sorrow last night." Legolas commented.

"I am not sure what overcame me." Haldir answered slowly.

"You still feel it."

"How do you know?" Haldir asked.

"A letter arrived for you early this morning, asking for you to return home immediately." Legolas answered.

"Home? A letter? But why now?"

Legolas sighed. "Brace yourself child. The sorrow you felt, it was not for all of us. It was your own sorrow, it simply occurred at the same time."

"What do you mean?" Haldir asked, his eyes frightened.

"I mean… your mother was pregnant as well." Legolas said softly. "She gave birth to a healthy child, but she… Haldir, she never made it." Haldir stood up, panicked.

"No! You are lying! My mother is fine!" Haldir burst into tears again. "She… is… fine…" He repeated but it was weak and he sank back down to the ground. As soon as Legolas had said it, he knew it was true, even in his doubt. It made sense. "Why?" He finally croaked.

"I do not know. I have been searching for the same answer since my first younger brother died, and I have yet to find one." Haldir sniffed, tears rolling down his face.

"What did my father say?" He asked.

Legolas hesitated. This was the part that made him angry and he was not sure what it would do to Haldir. "Your father…" Haldir looked at him, knowing something else was wrong. Legolas sighed again. "Your father is Sailing." Haldir's eyes widened and he looked like he might faint. Haldir stood slowly and moved around in a daze.

"I must go," he finally said, "I must take care of my brothers."

Legolas stood and took hold of his arm. "Haldir listen to me. Bring them back here. You have no means to raise two children. Bring them here until you can put food on the table yourself."

Haldir shook his head. "I couldn't. Someone will help us at home. Someone will…" He sounded like it was his last hope.

"We will," Legolas insisted. "I know my father is on edge, but that will pass. It always has before. Besides, you will be mourning and Haldir you must listen to me! Come back here."

Haldir sighed. "I am already in debt to your family." He said softly.

"Never," Legolas said. "You are like my brother, Haldir, and you will not be reduced to begging for food or having to burden your aunt. Come here with your own brothers where we have plenty. If you think it is a debt then repay us by letting us teach your brothers like we have been teaching you."

Haldir sighed. "You are hardly making it seem like I have a choice."

"You don't because I insist on giving you no other option for your own good." Legolas said. "Come, we can help you."

"Fine then," Haldir said, "But it seems I must go." He turned away dejectedly and Legolas' heart broke for the once proud little elfling.

Legolas watched him leave and then went in search of a guard to accompany the child to Lórien.

"Taenron," Legolas said walking up to the Captain. "Go with Haldir, and if he does not show signs of returning within three months drag him and his brothers back. If you cannot do it alone, then send for me and I will come drag him back."

Taenron raised one eyebrow but bowed slightly. "As you wish, Your Highness." He said turning away to go pack.

"So you are telling him to return." Legolas turned at the sound of his father's voice. He nodded.

"Yes Ada," Legolas answered. Thranduil's muscles had unclenched since that morning after the incident with the Dwarves, but his eyes remained hardened.

Thranduil was quiet, however, and simply nodded. Legolas was not sure what that meant, but he figured it was better than lashing out again. Legolas studied his father's face for a moment before realizing that he was not going to say anything. So he simply inclined his head and walked away toward the stables where he found Taenron waiting. He was talking softly to his horse, and as Haldir appeared, he glanced over at him. Haldir blinked and then looked at Legolas.

"No need to wander these woods by yourself." Legolas said. Haldir only had a small pack with him, apparently planning on returning. "Go, and return soon," Legolas said gently. Haldir nodded, mute for the moment. He went to his horse, now murmuring softly but his horse seemed to notice he was troubled. Legolas looked at Taenron. "Take a couple more horses. You will have to bring more back than you are taking." Taenron nodded and went to talk to the stable master.

"I will pay you back some day." Haldir said quietly to Legolas.

"I told you that…"

"I know what you said." Haldir replied. "But I am still going to pay you back." He swung onto his horse as Taenron rode up with three horses following him. Haldir's eyes scanned over Taenron and the horses emotionlessly as sadness remained etched onto his face. Taenron and Legolas exchanged a look. This never should have happened. He never should have been responsible for such a burden at this age. It seemed fate was turning against them all.

**A/N: The incident with the Dwarves is, in this stories' cannon, part of why Thranduil and the Dwarves have a hard time getting along, especially later closer to the Hobbit times. I have something written that tells the full tale, but it might not make it into this story, which focuses on the relationships between the two families. I will post a link here when it is published in some form or fashion. Enjoy :)**


	7. Plans Already Made

_**Sharing in Grief**_

_Plans Already Made_

c.1060 TA

When they got to Lórien two days later, Haldir could feel the sorrow in his heart mount further as he realized his mother was not going to greet him. His father would, but their parting would be their last good-bye for possibly eternity. Taenron glanced at him. Haldir had reigned in his horse, staring up into the trees of Lórien. "You can stay with us if you would like." Haldir said. Taenron shook his head.

"I am afraid I would be in your way. I know there are guest quarters, and I have money to stay there." Taenron said. "Send word when you are ready to leave."

Haldir nodded. "I will," he said.

"And you should know," Taenron called. "I have been ordered to bring you back even if you try to refuse within three months."

Haldir smiled slightly. "I understand."

Haldir rode alone to his talan. He found Orophin sitting on the edge, swinging his feet while his eyes were swollen. "Brother?" He asked. Orophin glanced up, surprise in his eyes.

"I suppose," he said. "I wasn't sure I actually had an older brother." Haldir immediately felt guilt threaten to overcome him.

"I thought there would be time." He said. Tears welled up in his brother's eyes. "I am truly sorry." Haldir said softly, feeling even worse.

Orophin glanced back away into the forest. "I know…" he said. "But what're we going to do? Ada says he's leaving…"

_You told the child so soon? _Haldir thought. _You didn't used to be so callous…_ That was when his father walked out the door.

"Haldir," he said. Haldir looked to his father.

"Ada," he said.

"Come in," his father said. Haldir glanced at Orophin who quickly looked away. As they walked in the door, Haldir looked around.

"Where is my other brother?"

"Rúmil is asleep. For now your aunt has been nursing him, she just had a child as well. You'll have to find a different nursemaid soon though, your aunt is busy with her own children and her own husband is about to go on patrol for two weeks the day after I leave."

"You have already decided when you will leave?"

"Yes," his father glanced down at him. "Do not look at me so, I cannot stay when my wife is somewhere else."

"She may not be in Valinor yet." Haldir said.

"She will be, and that is enough to know that she will join me there."

"And yet you are leaving three children behind?"

His father sighed. They entered the kitchen and his father motioned for him to sit down. "Look, my heart broke when your mother…" He paused, seeming to choke on his own words. "I have no choice."

"Choice?" Haldir asked. "So you would leave me, an underage elfling, to take care of a younger elfling and a newborn babe?"

"I am sorry Haldir, but you must do this. If I stay, I will fade and die. Unless you would rather Sail with me."

Haldir considered it, but even though his parents would both be there, at least eventually, he did not feel like it was his time. Why, he was not sure. Things looked quite dismal here, but for some reason, he felt it wrong like he was not supposed to Sail. Not now anyway. "Did you think of how I should do this then?" he asked sighing.

"Your aunt had a solution. One of our friends has agreed to take Rúmil as their own. Our Lady has agreed to let you begin work now thanks to your training in the Greenwood, and Orophin can stay and take care of the home."

"Alone?"

"Not necessarily, your aunt does need help. He can go help take care of the children."

"He is a child himself!"

"Haldir!" His father scolded. "What would you rather? Do you have a better plan?" Haldir remained silent and glanced out the window.

"Why did you stop writing?"

His father sighed. "I have been on duty for the past two years. I only came home twice, both times were only for a couple weeks. Your mother became pregnant the second time. I do not know why she never wrote. I was not home until the hour after she gave birth." Haldir's eyes widened slightly and he glanced up at his father.

"That is why she died!" Haldir said. "You killed her! If you had been there, as most ellyn are, she may have had the strength to survive."

"Boy! You do not know what you say!"

"I do, I have watched the Queen experience much the same, and even the King found time to stay by his wife's side."

"As King he can do whatever he wants!" His father cried. "I was ordered away, it was not a choice!"

"Just as you have no choice but to leave now?"

"Yes," his father said sighing.

"Did you know she was pregnant?"

"Yes," his father said. "Of course I knew."

"And yet you still stayed away?"

"I was on duty!"

"There are some things more important than duty! Such as family." Haldir said.

"Oh? And you tell me this, you reckless elfling? You have been away longer than I have! Much longer!"

"Perhaps if I had known my father was to abandon my mother I would have stayed."

"You have no place to say such things! You are a child, Haldir! Whatever those wood-elves might have said."

"Those wood-elves know far much more about family than you do." Haldir said coldly. He stood. "And if Orophin agrees we are moving there after mother's funeral until I am actually of age." He stormed out of the room, leaving a stunned father behind. He found Orophin above the house in a branch of the tree.

"Orophin?" He asked. Orophin looked at him, eyes still sad.

Haldir sat in a branch across from him, trying to decide how to broach the subject. "How are we going to live?" Orophin asked. "I love my cousins, but I cannot take care of them… Not like our aunt wants me too."

"I know," Haldir said, "Nor do I wish to give away anyone of our family when it is already breaking."

"You are going to keep Rúmil? How?" Orophin asked.

Haldir sighed. "We have been offered a place to stay until I come of age, where we will not have to pay for food. We will still have to do things, of course, but they are things all children have to do."

"Which is?"

"Learn," he said, "They have teachers that can teach you to be an ambassador or messenger if you like."

"No!" Orophin said, surprisingly vehemently. "I do not wish to be like that! Ada is gone far too often! I want a job where I can stay close to home."

"Well, they have teachers of all sorts." Haldir said. "All you have to do is tell them what you wish to learn."

"You are learning to be a warrior, are you not?" Orophin asked.

Haldir looked away. "Kind of… I was also being trained as an ambassador, but I wanted to be able to defend myself instead of taking a guard with me all the time."

"Oh," Orophin said. "Where is this place you would take us?"

Haldir sighed. "Back to the Greenwood. We would live in a Palace… for a time. We will come back home, as long as I have been gone, I do consider this my home still. We would only stay until I am of age, close to twenty-five years. You will only be seventy-five."

Orophin glanced down at their house. "Promise?"

"Yes," Haldir said.

"Okay," Orophin said simply. They began to climb down the tree back to the house.

"And Orophin?" Haldir asked. The young child looked at him. "I promise to be a better older brother. I am truly sorry I haven't been here." Orophin glanced at him as they stood there on the roof of the house. Then he ran into Haldir's body, tightening his arms around his brother's waist. Haldir, at first surprised, finally put his arms around the child as well, closing his eyes at the thought that no one should lose their parents so soon.

* * *

><p>The funeral was short but beautiful. Tears slid silently down the two brothers' faces, while their father was stoic in his grief, hiding behind a face of nothingness. As everyone started to leave, Haldir noticed a cloaked figure hiding behind one of the trees. He nodded to his father and slipped to the side where the ellon was standing. "Captain?" He asked. The figure looked at him and nodded. "I want to leave as soon as possible. My brother has agreed, and my father says he is leaving tomorrow for the Havens. He is taking the only other horse we have though, and we do not have a wagon… He cannot carry everything and…" Taenron laughed softly.<p>

"We have five horses, remember? Mine, yours, and three the Prince made me bring. Do not worry, I will be at your house tomorrow after your father leaves."

"No, come early, we do not have much, and I would rather leave before we end up only at Lórien's border by the time we must stop."

"Wise, but what about your father?"

Haldir's eyes grew dark. "He chose to leave us first." He said before turning away to go back to his family. Taenron smiled sadly as Haldir kneeled next to Orophin who was still crying. When Haldir proffered his arms, Orophin buried himself into his brother's chest. Haldir held him, staring at the place where his mother rested. He glanced up at his father, who was holding Rúmil. _I must get milk for him for the journey._ He thought.

After the funeral, he got some money and went to the healer's talan. "My lords," he said, "I am going on a two to three day journey with a babe, and I need milk for the child." The healer inspected him.

"You are Nemirben's son." He said.

"Yes," Haldir answered.

"I thought you were staying here? It was my sister who offered to take Rúmil in."

Haldir bowed slightly. "And I am thankful for her kindness, but I have been offered an option that will allow my family to stay together and I need milk to feed young Rúmil on the journey there."

"Are you not young yourself, to take on such a burden?" The healer asked.

"Please, sir, just give me the milk and I shall go on my way." The healer glanced at him.

"Tell me, does your father know what you plan to do? He was the one who made the arrangements."

"Yes he does." Haldir answered. "If you will not help me I shall go elsewhere."

"I doubt anyone will help you when they think you are staying here."

Haldir's eyes flashed. "If you have any charity, please, give me the milk." He said.

"I do not…"

"Give him the milk." A voice cut through the air. The healer glanced up to see a cloaked figure, without looking Haldir knew it was Taenron.

"And who are you?"

"Have you no pity? Give the child the milk." Taenron said.

"I do have pity, I know what his father wanted and I will not allow a child to rebel."

"The child is not rebelling. He has orders to take himself and_ both_ of his brothers somewhere else until he has come of age. Will you stop him?"

"Whose orders?"

Taenron threw back his cloak, revealing that he was in the Greenwood's guard. "The Elvenking." He said coldly. He stepped forward. "Would you be the one to cross him?" The healer paled slightly, but narrowed his eyes.

"Greenwood is not his home."

"Perhaps," Taenron said, "But for the next twenty-five years it is. Now, do I have to take the milk by force, or will you hand it over?" The healer glared at him but he knew he had no chance to face such a warrior and went to get the milk. He returned staring at Haldir.

"You do not have to be forced into leaving." He said, looking at Taenron suspiciously.

Haldir grabbed the milk quickly, turning to leave. "I feel more like I am being forced into staying." He said. He paused, letting the words sink in. "Hannon le," he added, gesturing to the milk, before turning on his heel and striding out of the door.

Taenron glanced coldly at the healer before following the young ellon. "Here," he said, "Let me take it. That way it can be packed already." Haldir hesitated before handing him the milk. "I shall be at your house even earlier." Taenron said. "I am thinking we should get out before anyone else tries to stop you." Haldir nodded.

"Thank you, Sir…"

Taenron smiled. "It's Taenron, and no one should have done any less." Taenron clapped him on the shoulder. "I will be there tomorrow." He said. Haldir watched him leave and then returned home.

His father's things were already packed waiting next to his horse. He knew his aunt was inside, nursing Rúmil. His aunt smiled at him as he entered. "Where have you been?" She asked.

"At the healer's." Haldir answered. "I got milk for Rúmil so that you will no longer need to come."

"I was planning on coming through the end of the day tomorrow. You do not have to do this yet."

"You will only have to come tomorrow morning, after that we will be fine."

His father's eyes narrowed. "What do you mean?"

"We are leaving, as I told you." Haldir said. Orophin walked into the room.

"And does your brother know this?" His father asked. Orophin glanced between them.

"Yes, he does." Haldir said.

"You are leaving?" His aunt asked. "But I thought…"

"He says he is taking them to the Greenwood."

"The Greenwood! You are supposed to stay here." His aunt cried. "What of Orophin? Are you going to rip him from the only home he has ever known?"

"We are coming back."

"When?" His father asked.

"You will be gone, what does it matter?" Haldir asked.

His father's eyes flashed. "I still care for you, I wish to know."

"You have chosen otherwise." Haldir said.

"That is no way to speak to your father!" His aunt cried. "Besides, this is your home, is it not? You have a way of living here, and a place to keep your brothers."

"Mmmm," Haldir agreed, "All you say is true, but I have been offered somewhere where Orophin can still be a child, not a caretaker, and where Rúmil can remain our brother."

"And where is this place?"

Haldir raised his chin. "The Elvenking offered himself." His aunt's eyes narrowed as did his father's.

"And how much debt will you have? You have already been staying in his care without pay long enough. I wish you would remain here."

"Because you will come to visit? I hardly think so."

"You are a child!" His aunt said. "You do not have right to make these decisions for yourself! I am your caretaker once your father leaves, and I say-"

"I am going with Haldir." A small voice said. Haldir glanced at his brother who looked slightly scared that he had spoken. Gaining courage as he saw everyone now facing him, Orophin took a breath to speak again. "I am going with Haldir. He is my brother, and so is Rúmil, and I want him to stay with us. It was not my choice to live with you while Haldir was off who knows where. I love you, and my cousins, but I do not want us separated."

His aunt looked at the child like he was a new breed. "You do not know what you are saying, we know what is best."

"Orophin," Haldir suddenly spoke. "We are leaving tomorrow. Go get your clothes, and anything else you want to keep for the next twenty-five years."

"He will do no such thing! Orophin you are forbidden!" His father said. Orophin, however, ran out of the room before he could be called back. His father stood to go after him, but Haldir blocked the way. "Move," his father said.

"No, you gave up your right to command us when you _chose_ to leave. I was hesitant to take the Elvenking's offer, but now I see it will be far better for everyone. If you try to keep us here, I have been warned that if I do not return with my brothers in three months I will be dragged back to the Greenwood. We are leaving, by your will or not, and I would rather part from you in love."

"I am in charge of your well-being." His aunt said. "If you leave-"

"Then what? Will you be the one to go to Greenwood's Palace before her king?" His aunt stopped speaking for the moment. "As I said, we are leaving in the morning, and I must gather what I have."

He went to his room, he had really never unpacked. He did, however, grab a few things he had left behind before, such as a few tokens from his mother. He turned as he heard a quick shuffle. It was Orophin. "Will they keep us from leaving?" He asked.

"No," Haldir said. "If we must we will sneak out tomorrow night, or at some other time. Fear not, I will not have us separated." Orophin hugged him again. Haldir stroked his hair for a minute. "Go, get ready, I doubt Taenron will allow our aunt to stop us from leaving." Orophin nodded and ran back to his room.

Then Haldir slipped into the nursery, which was connected to his parent's room. He looked around, and began gathering the baby clothes he saw. He also gathered the small effects they had for babies, some of them he still remembered from when he was small. When he was finished, he pressed his ear to his parent's room, and found there was no one there. He slipped in, looking around for anything of his mother's that they could keep. He looked everywhere, but his father had taken everything. His father had left nothing of either of them. It was almost as if he had had neither father nor mother anymore, and he supposed he did not, only memories. He sighed, and slipped out. He picked up all the bags he had packed in the nursery and carried them to his room.

Then he laid back on his bed, thinking about everything that had happened. Was he indeed still a child? He supposed by age he was, but after what just happened, the burden of parenthood had fallen to him. He sighed, rolling on his side and closing his eyes, a sign that he was a child after all. He took one heavy breath before it evened out, and he fell asleep.


	8. Final Parting and First Healing

_**Sharing in Grief**_

_Final Parting and First Healing_

c.1060 TA

The next morning, Haldir stood below their house, readying his horse. All of the bags he had packed were lying beside the horse. Orophin was still asleep. His aunt had spent the night with her two youngest, in effort to convince Haldir to stay the next morning. She was even now trying to prove the usefulness of them staying in Lórien by cooking breakfast and nursing the baby. Haldir heard the sound of a horse coming, and he looked to see Taenron coming with four horses and a wagon.

"Where did you get the wagon?" He asked.

"I paid for it," Taenron said.

Haldir's eyes widened. "Then I should pay you back. We have money upstairs-."

Taenron laughed. "I do not think you can pay me back. I paid for it with a deer I shot on our way here. The family said they would not need it anyway. I suppose you can do the hunting tomorrow if you really would like too, but I am more than capable."

"Perhaps I should." Haldir said. "I would rather you stay with my brothers. You can defend them better should something come up."

"And what of you?"

"I can defend myself for a little while at least. The Prince has been helping me."

"I know," Taenron said. "Where's your brother?"

"Asleep," Haldir answered. He motioned to the things on the ground. "Let's pack these before someone tries to stop me again." He said. Taenron smiled.

"Agreed," he said. They worked quickly and soon had everything packed in the wagon. They left the wagon unhitched to keep the horses comfortable. Taenron and Haldir's horses were ready, they did not use saddles anyway.

"Do you want to stay down here? Or would you like to face my aunt to try to receive breakfast?" Haldir asked. Taenron grinned.

"Well, I suppose I will face your aunt."

"She will not like you, mostly because you are helping me in my escape." He said.

Taenron laughed again. "I do not mind, let us go." He said.

They climbed up the tree to Haldir's talan. They entered the house. "Ah, there you are Haldir, I hope you will eat breakfast this morning. I was thinking. When you are home, we have enough room for you to stay with us. Orophin will be with us anyway and," her back had been turned as she was finishing setting out the food. However, when she turned around she caught sight of Taenron who was quite clearly dressed as one of the Elvenking's guards. "Who is this?" His aunt asked.

"My name is Taenron." He said.

"And?" She prompted.

"The Elvenking's Captain of the Guard." He said. That was when Haldir's father entered the room, eyes narrowing at Taenron. Taenron inclined his head to him. "I hear you set out for Valinor today." He said. Haldir's father nodded slightly.

"Indeed," he said. "I suppose you are taking my sons away?"

"On my king's orders," Taenron said. His father seemed to be resigned to what Haldir had decided, but his aunt was not.

"Whatever do you mean?" She asked. "Haldir is staying here, along with his brothers."

Haldir gave Taenron a pointed look before going to Orophin's bedroom. Orophin blinked at him sleepily when Haldir tapped him on the shoulder. "Get ready, we are leaving after we have eaten." Haldir said softly. Orophin's eyes widened and then he shot up, racing around his room excitedly. Haldir laughed. "Slow down," he said. "Take your time, we are in no hurry."

Orophin, however, continued to race around, presenting Haldir with his bags one at a time. "Captain!" Haldir called. Taenron appeared. Haldir handed him the bags he had been given so far. Orophin appeared one last time.

"This is it!" He said breathlessly. Haldir laughed again.

"Come then, go ahead and eat. We will pack these." He said. Orophin went to the kitchen while Haldir and Taenron carried the bags down and put them in the wagon. Then they climbed back up. They found his aunt standing over Orophin, trying to convince him it would be better with her. "Enough!" Haldir cried. "He has already said he will come with me. Is that not enough for you? What do you have to gain? If we stayed, you would only have two more mouths to feed. Do you wish for the babe to be separated from us?"

His aunt's nostrils were flaring. "You should stay where you were born! Do you want Rúmil to be raised away from his own home? I would rather you be home than in a wood of savage Elves!" Taenron clenched his jaw, but said nothing.

"Savage?" Haldir asked. "They are offering us the chance to be children, unlike you." Haldir said. His aunt stared at him. She was holding her own child at the time, who was now crying. She stared at him a moment longer, and then raced off to feed it. Orophin looked frightened, but Haldir released his tension. "Eat," he prodded his brother. Orophin began eating and Haldir sat beside him. Taenron ate as well, but remained standing in the shadows. His father sighed and sat down.

"You really are leaving?" He asked. Haldir nodded. "For twenty-five years?" Haldir nodded again. "I know I won't stop you." His father finally said. "Are you sure about this?"

Haldir smiled wryly. "If I am not, I have been told the Prince will come after me himself."

His father sighed. "They were good to us while we were there. Please at least promise me you will try not to be a burden."

"I have been informed that they would be burdened if I did not come." Haldir said. "I offered to pay for our stay, Ada. They would not hear of it."

"So it seems," he said. The two studied each other, still eating. Finally his father dropped his food. "You have my blessing." He said. Haldir looked at him in surprise. "Not just in this, in all things. You have much to do here, ion nin. Do not Sail unless you have nothing left. Do not be like me in this. If you have anything to stay for, stay." He said. Haldir nodded slowly. "You are braver than I am, child. You will be blessed someday with love."

"How do you know that?" Haldir asked.

"Because there are some things a father knows. Your life is yet long before you. When the time comes, you will know what to do."

Haldir looked down at his plate. "Hannon le," he said. His father smiled slightly. Orophin had been watching warily at first, but now was smiling as well.

"What of me?" He asked.

His father laughed. "You are brave as well, for going with your brother to a foreign land. You will find love as well someday." He paused. "Listen to your brother when you go, he knows the Greenwood far better than you do. He knows their customs. Take care of your little brother." Orophin nodded.

Then he got up and hugged his father. "I will miss you, Ada." Haldir glanced up as Taenron slipped out of the room and back outside.

His father hugged Orophin back. "I will miss you too."

Haldir hesitated and then got up to hug his father as well. "I told you I would rather part in love." He said and then his father embraced him.

"Be brave always, ion nin. Never give up on hope. I love you," he whispered. Haldir closed his eyes, a child for one more minute before they parted. "Now go before your aunt gets back to stop you." He said, smiling slightly.

Haldir nodded, carefully picking up his sleeping baby brother. "Namárië Ada." He said.

"Namárië." His father said. Haldir left Orophin and his father alone for one last time, and he carefully maneuvered down the tree with Rúmil in his arms. Taenron smiled at him.

"Ready?"

"When Orophin comes down." Haldir answered. "They will sit in the wagon, Orophin can keep him still." It was only a minute later that Orophin came down, dried tears on his face. Haldir smiled at him. "Come," he said. He picked Orophin up and set him in the wagon. "You must watch Rúmil." Haldir said. "His milk is there." Orophin nodded and Haldir handed him Rúmil. Taenron had hitched the horses when he had slipped away, so all was ready.

Taenron mounted his horse as did Haldir. Taenron clucked at the two horses who was leading the wagon and then they started off. Haldir glanced up to see his father watching them. _Good-bye, ion nin. _Haldir nodded in return. Suddenly, there was a shout from above. His father disappeared from the window. "Let us hurry, before my aunt comes down." He said. Taenron called to the horses to move faster, and they did, passing out of Lórien after another three hours.

* * *

><p>They arrived in Greenwood after two days of traveling, and after another day of traveling they were at the Elf path. "Should we continue?"<p>

"No," Taenron said, "We have places of shelter scattered along the road. I would rather not travel after dark." Haldir nodded slightly and they turned off track to a small shelter the Guard and Warriors of the Greenwood had created.

"What is that?" Orophin asked later that night. Taenron lifted his head, listening for what Orophin had heard. Then he bowed his head.

"That is the sound of the Greenwood mourning. Our mourning continues for a determined period of time depending on the tragedy. In this case it will be a while before we stop." Taenron said.

Orophin looked confused. "Their princess died." Haldir said softly. "Very near to the day our mother died." Orophin's eyes widened.

"Why?"

"They don't really know." Haldir said. Orophin remained silent after that. Taenron was sitting with his head still bowed, clearly burdened for his own King and Queen. Haldir sighed as Rúmil started crying and he got up and started feeding him. He listened to the songs quietly, hoping all would be well in the end. Only Rúmil got much sleep that night. Taenron refused to sleep while the rest of his nation remained awake in mourning and Haldir and Orophin could hear too much of the songs to sleep much that night, still lost in their own mourning.

Finally morning came, and Taenron got the horses ready while Haldir took care of the newly awakened Rúmil. Then they continued on, hoping to reach the Palace by the end of the day. Once they reached the Palace, they entered the gates and dismounted slowly. A servant came up to meet them, still wearing black. Taenron and the servant spoke softly for a minute, before Taenron motioned to Haldir and his brothers. "Come, I will take you to your rooms. They have been prepared for you in advance. The servant is going to get a few more and they will bring your possessions to the rooms."

"We can carry our own." Haldir said.

"Not today," Taenron said and steered Haldir out of the entry way. He led Haldir along the halls, Orophin following along and Rúmil in Haldir's arms. They reached the guest section of the Palace but Taenron moved past it. "You stayed here once long ago, but just beyond the Guest section is a place where we usually house foreign dignitaries. We have not had hardly any except for you in the past century, so one of them has been prepared for you. They are miniature houses in themselves, and there you can retreat into your own home without feeling like part of the Palace."

"I don't want to take something not meant for us." Haldir said.

"Mmmm," Taenron said, "That is why we are not asking you." Haldir frowned slightly but followed the Captain. Orophin giggled slightly behind him. Haldir sighed in resignation and Taenron stopped before a doorway. He opened the door and Haldir's mouth dropped open.

"We cannot accept this!" Haldir said.

"Yes you can." Haldir spun at the sound of the Prince's voice. "We are not letting you switch rooms. We will lock you in if we must." Haldir glanced back inside, understanding why it was usually meant for foreign dignitaries.

"This is too much," Haldir said.

"Please, we have not had a foreign dignitary in years, and we have six of these rooms, all of which have done nothing but collect dust. You will make this room useful." Legolas said. He smiled at the bundle in Haldir's arms. "I guess that is the baby."

Haldir nodded. "Rúmil," he said.

The Prince turned to Orophin. "And you must be Orophin? Forgive me for not introducing myself first. I am Legolas." He said. Orophin's eyes widened and he started to bow, but Legolas stopped him. "Did I say I was a Prince?" Orophin shook his head. "Then do not bow." He said. "Do you want to stay here?"

Orophin glanced in the rooms and blushed. "You see Haldir? He wants to stay here." Haldir sighed.

"It seems we have no choice." Haldir replied.

"Good!" Legolas said and steered Haldir into the room. It was a small sitting room in the front, and there were three different doors leading from it. "There are two bedrooms, and the washroom in the middle. The one on the left is bigger, and we put the cradle there." Legolas said. Haldir nodded and went that direction while Taenron showed Orophin his room. He gently set the still sleeping baby into the cradle and glanced around.

"Why?" he asked Legolas now that they were alone.

"Because," Legolas said, "Like I said, no one else would use this. You need space to keep your family. We are doing this because we know what loss is like. You three must heal together as my family is now. Do not worry about repaying us. My Ada will not take the money even if you offer it. Repay us by letting us help you. Repay us by growing and letting us teach you and your brothers." Haldir sighed and then nodded.

"Okay," he said. He glanced around the room again. "I was glad of your offer once I got back. My aunt's plan was to separate all of us instead of letting us stay together. The only way to get out of it was to follow your plan. My father did not even give us his blessing until the last moment."

Legolas inspected Haldir again. He had left a child, but Legolas could see a weight had descended on the young ellon. He now appeared older if only because of the way he carried himself. _No mother should die and leave elflings alone._ Legolas thought. "I told you so." Legolas said, smiling gently. Haldir blushed once and smiled back.

"I guess you did."

"Well, now that I have been proven right," Legolas said, "My father has found a woman that can help Rúmil. She will never be his mother, but she can nurse him at least."

"How will she know when to come?" Haldir asked. "We have been feeding him well enough with milk. Why not just give us milk?"

"We are better than that. She will know. Trust us." Haldir sighed.

"All right," he said sighing. "If I must." Legolas grinned.

"Indeed," he said. "Now come, clean yourselves and be ready in an hour. You are dining with us."

Haldir smiled as Legolas left the room. Orophin walked up to him. "What do we do now?"

Haldir smiled at him. "Now we clean up and get ready. We are eating in an hour." He said. Orophin smiled.

"Food?" Haldir laughed.

"Yes, food. Legolas said we are eating with them. I'm not sure how the King and Queen will be today. Until we know, bow to them."

Orophin nodded. "I like it here," he said.

"Who would not staying where we are?" Haldir asked laughing.

"Well," Orophin said blushing. Then he walked over to the window they had. "I don't know, I am glad we got away from home. I know this is not home, and I will be glad to return when its time. But right now, I am glad to be elsewhere. Our home was full of nana, and I will be glad to remember later, but for now, I think it is better we are here."

"I am glad you feel that way. I was not as sure as I told Ada." Haldir said softly. Orophin turned and hugged him around the middle.

"I am glad to be with you again. I missed you, even if we never really knew each other."

Haldir said nothing, but held his brother tighter. Finally he broke the embrace. "Come, it is never good to keep a king waiting." He said.

What neither brother knew was that they had taken a step toward healing and it would but continue under the eaves of the Greenwood. And, with time, they would return to their home back in Lórien.

**A/N: Just because of that last ambiguous line, I am making an announcement that this is _not _the last chapter of this story. So... just in case you thought it was... it isn't. :)**


	9. Confrontation

_**Sharing in Grief**_

_Confrontation_

c.1060 TA

It was three weeks after they had arrived in Greenwood that their flight from home caught up to them. Galion came into the private dining quarters where Thranduil's family, as well as Haldir's, had taken to eating in, wishing to avoid a crowd watch them. Surprisingly, though both were still crushed over their respective losses, the new baby provided a distraction for all of them and things were going better for both families than most had dared hope.

Legolas practically adored young Rúmil, and Haldir had to wrestle the child away from him a couple times saying he was his brother not Legolas. Legolas had only appeared amused at this.

Thranduil's eyes silently pierced the Galion's when he entered the room. "There is someone here who says they have to see you, Your Majesty. They say they are from Lórien." He said bowing slightly. Thranduil glanced at Haldir who paled slightly but did not say anything.

Thranduil seemed to think the matter over. "Later," he finally said, "I will return to the throne room in an hour." Galion bowed again and walked out of the room. Legolas glanced worriedly at Haldir.

"Do you know who it could be?" He asked.

"Not really, unless it is actually my aunt."

"Why would your aunt come?" Thranduil asked. "Especially if they are asking for me, not you."

"To get us back." Orophin said, eyes dropping.

"I suppose," Haldir started. He glanced at Oiolairë who was holding Rúmil. "It could be someone else. I do not really know their name, but it's possible someone has come just for Rúmil."

"For Rúmil?" Legolas asked confused.

"They wanted to separate us." Orophin said. "Someone else was going to take in Rúmil as their own. I would not have minded if they would have taken all of us but-."

"As he said, their brother tried to stop me from leaving because he knew his sister was taking the baby, supposedly. The Captain was there." Haldir finished.

Oiolairë's eyes had widened. She tightened her hold on Rúmil as if trying to ward off these others. This could have been because, as it turned out, when Legolas had said someone he had actually meant his mother when he had told them someone would come to nurse Rúmil and she had grown quite attached to the elfling. Thranduil had been hesitant at first about the whole thing knowing she might become unhealthily attached to another's child and perhaps even more grieved than she was previously, but Oiolairë had proved that she realized Rúmil was not her child and so far she seemed better this time than the past two. Haldir had tried to refuse her as well, but Oiolairë was determined to do what she could to help.

On Legolas and Thranduil's part, since she had started nursing Rúmil they had let out their tension little by little. It seemed having someone to take care of was actually helping her more than anything else could have. Now they were far more optimistic that she would actually return to normal life once more. Shared grief seemed a way of moving on far quicker than in the past, especially when there was a task to be done such as nursing an infant who had no one else to nurse him.

Thranduil looked thoughtful. "It could just be someone from Lórien and not have anything to do with the three of you."

"It could." Haldir agreed but there was hesitance in his eyes. "But no one wanted me to leave and take them. My father was hesitant until the end." A tear had sprung down Orophin's cheek and Haldir glanced at him concerned but returned his gaze silently to Thranduil.

Thranduil considered him for a moment. "Come with me," he said and got up. Haldir rose silently, making no protest, but Legolas was eyeing him with concern. Haldir followed Thranduil but suddenly noticed they were not going toward the throne room. They were in a more private place where little people came and went. "I said an hour, and no one but whoever it is will bother to keep time. Now tell me, what is this about your aunt?"

Haldir sighed. "When I got back, I asked my father what he planned for the three of us to do. I had not mentioned anything about returning here. My father said that the Lady would allow me to start working after he left, and that while I was gone Orophin could stay with my aunt and help her with our cousins. He added that someone else had said they would take care of Rúmil. All I know is that my aunt was very against me leaving with both of them, particularly to come here. When I went to the healers to get milk, they would not get it for me until the Captain interfered because they thought I was being ridiculous. They also seemed under the impression I was being forced to come back. I suppose the Captain did not help in that regard." Thranduil stared at him for a moment before turning away.

Haldir was silent, worried about whatever Thranduil was about to say. Had he done something wrong? But the Elvenking surprised him. "I am sorry, Haldir." He said. "That should have never happened to you." He leaned on the railing of an overlook into one of the gardens.

Haldir stared silently at Thranduil's profile, wondering what he meant. Thranduil seemed to sense this, or at least realize why the child was silent. "I understand sorrow." He said softly. "But if anything I have learned that family is all we have to hang on to. Without them we fade. To separate you three so quickly, it might have killed all of you." He spoke so softly Haldir wondered if he was actually hearing this. "Your bonds are important. If you take nothing away from all your years here- learn that. Family is more important than a lot of things, even running a kingdom. I never would have survived without first my wife and now my son. Your brothers may be keeping you from fading even now."

Haldir stood still for a moment before stepping to Thranduil's side at the rail. "Even with family, you can still fade."

"Yes," Thranduil said, "But I do not see you in any danger at the moment." He paused. "There are a lot of things that can happen that are horrible. Death just happens to be near the top. But even in things like death, you cannot dwell on the sorrow. You have to hold onto the things that still give you joy, and you have to deepen your bonds with those closest to you that still live." Haldir looked up at Thranduil whose eyes were distant.

_For one considered not as wise,_ Haldir thought, _he certainly gives sage advice._

"Hannon le." Haldir said softly. Thranduil looked down at him and smiled slightly.

"Glassen, but you have little to thank me for." He paused again and then sighed. "I suppose I should go find out who this is. Do you wish to join me? If it is someone that wants you back, it may give you insight."

Haldir considered it. "Part of me does. But there is another part of me that does not want them to see me at first."

Thranduil smiled wryly. "Then I have a most astute solution." He said and motioned to Haldir. "Come."

* * *

><p>Thranduil walked into the throne room and sat on his throne. The person from Lórien stepped up before him and bowed their head. "And who are you?" Thranduil asked.<p>

"I am Tauredhiel. I have come-."

"Your full identity," Thranduil interrupted. Tauredhiel blinked surprised.

"I stay at home with my children usually. My husband is a Marchwarden. I am from Lórien and I have come be-."

"One inquiry at a time." Thranduil interrupted again. This quieted the woman but he noticed an angry glint in her eye.

"Tell me, if you usually stay home with your children, why have you left them?"

"I have come beca-."

"Not why you came, why you left your children. Is there any to watch them?"

"That is why-." Tauredhiel started, but caught herself afterword and eyed Thranduil warily. He said nothing but watched her with an eyebrow raised. "Yes, my husband is home for a couple weeks so he watches them."

"You may continue now." Thranduil said. The woman looked even more agitated but she was eager for this chance.

"I came because there has recently been a kidnapping. My brother has recently Sailed and left three children in my care. They disappeared three weeks ago and after corresponding with one of those who last saw the eldest I was told someone from, ah, here might have forced them here against their will."

_So this is the aunt._ Thranduil thought. The way she said 'here' told him she had no great love for Greenwood either. His eyes glanced in Haldir's direction where the child's eyes told him he was furious. Thranduil still did not blame him.

"Who are these children?"

"Three boys," she responded. Thranduil wanted to roll his eyes.

"Names," he said.

"Surely you know if there are three strange boys in the vicinity?" Tauredhiel asked.

"I have thousands of subjects, any one of whom could be housing three children. I would have to make a search of it and that would take more warriors than I could spare. But I can give them names and if they happen to stumble upon the children somewhere they can bring them back here and I will send them to you. But first I would also need proof that you are their guardian."

"Have you no heart?" Tauredhiel asked. The room went deadly silent. There were usually a few Elves gathered in the throne room unless Thranduil sent everyone out. Most of the time, however, many stayed there to get news and other such things. They did not always simply pay attention to Thranduil but rather spoke among themselves. But that they heard, and now they all glanced at their king uneasily. "These are children and they need to come home!"

Thranduil's eyes had hardened considerably, but his voice was as calm as it could be when he answered. "If they were taken, I am sure you will receive a ransom note or some such thing soon and you can take care of the matter yourself."

"One hears you are a heartless soul but one wishes to believe otherwise!" The woman screamed, tears (of anger Haldir thought) springing to her eyes. The other Elves seemed conflicted between staying to defend their king or getting away as fast as possible, but Taenron was definitely his father's son and both had seemed too overly eager to defend Thranduil.

"You go too far!" He cried and stepped in front of the king. "You know not of what you speak! Maybe those three children are better off than with someone as heartless as you. Why did you want them anyway?"

Tauredhiel now appeared angry, tears now spilling over. "You! You took my children away!"

"Yours?" Haldir had finally had enough. He sprang to his feet and stormed across the room. "I was never yours!"

"Haldir!" She said throwing her arms around him like they had been separated for years and had had a far different parting than in reality. He pushed her off. His face was quite red and his eyes were like ice.

"Get off me!" He yelled. "Go home! I left Lórien for a reason."

"You must come home! Everyone is worried."

"Who? You? You are not worried, that is not why you came. Are you that desperate?"

"What are you talking about I have always looked after your brother. Now I want to care for all of you."

Haldir laughed. "All of us? Who was it that was giving Rúmil away and sending me off? Why do you wish to keep Orophin so much?" His question came out and he stopped suddenly.

_Orophin,_ he thought. _There must be something there._ His aunt's eyes had changed with that question. That had something to do with it. Thranduil and Taenron seemed to have noticed as well, and they seemed to be thinking about it.

"It is worked out now. You can all come home." Tauredhiel said and Haldir watched her hesitant. What was it? What did she want? With three extra mouths, even with Haldir sometimes gone on-.

"Money!" He suddenly screamed. "Three weeks! Was that how long it took you to sell everything in our house? Perhaps our house as well! You cannot take what was left to us without us there can you? And you want me there to earn a living for you?" His aunt's face had paled.

"Your home is with your family, Haldir!" She said.

"Yes, and my brothers are here." Haldir glanced at her. "You still would not keep Rúmil, you would send him away. I know by the look in your eye. You have five children, keep what you have!" She grabbed his arm.

"Enough, Haldir, send for your brothers. You are coming with me." Haldir's face hardened.

"No," he said, "You cannot get me out of here. Not for another twenty-five years."

"That's why she came." Taenron suddenly said. "If you are of age when you return, all of your inheritance goes to you, not her."

"You stay out of this! You have done enough, they would have stayed with me if you were not there!"

"No, he just made it easier. How do you plan on dragging me away, in chains?" Haldir asked. "I will not come back with you. When I return, I will work to keep our family alive, not yours."

"Fool! You are a child, Haldir. You cannot make these decisions for yourself." She still maintained a bruising grip on his arm.

"No, he cannot." Thranduil's voice finally cut through and Tauredhiel jumped slightly. "But I am curious, what is it with Orophin? You are sending the other two away." His aunt's face flushed.

"I am the one trying to bring them home, where they belong! Not in a wood of savages that hides when there is trouble instead of confronting it." Thranduil's eyes turned dangerous then and any remaining Elves stepped up angry and then reconsidered and fled the room. They might have stayed and defended the king, but they realized that Thranduil was about to do a good job of defending himself.

Taenron noted the look and pulled Haldir away from his aunt to the side. Thranduil stood. "Have you ever faced war?" He asked, his voice might as well have been a glacier.

"I was alive in the last one. And I watched closely enough that I heard what your nation did! Fleeing the battlefield!"

He descended the steps one at a time making his footsteps echo with all authority he carried in them. "I suppose you listened to the rumors closely but little else. Heed my words, I have seen more death than you could ever know, and I have more heart than you ever will. You do not care for any of these children truly. If you did, I might be more inclined to your case. As it is, coming to my Palace to insult me was a bad idea. There are few who do, and most who do never make it out alive." Tauredhiel seemed to shrink as Thranduil stepped closer to her. "I suggest fleeing these woods like you think we fled the battlefield. But I warn you, anyone who heard those words might be inclined to show you what fleeing really looks like." Tauredhiel set her mouth and then tried standing straight again.

"They are under my care, not yours. I have a case, and I will take it before my Lady. I will win, and you will be forced to make them come back home."

"Your Lady has no authority here." Thranduil said. "This is my realm, and you are at my mercy until you leave."

"She will send our authorities to get my children."

"They are not yours. Their parents left them in Haldir's care." Taenron said.

"Even if you sent word to the Lady you could not do anything." Haldir suddenly said. His aunt turned to face him.

"And what do you know of it?"

"I will claim refuge." Haldir said. Tauredhiel's face drained of color. Claiming refuge in another Elven realm gave the person (Haldir in this case) political immunity until both lords (in this case one Thranduil and the other Celeborn) came to an agreement about what should be done. These debates could last for months or years or decades, and it was clear in this case Thranduil would drag it out until Haldir determined to go home.

"You would not dare." She said, her voice becoming a hiss. Haldir lifted his chin slightly while Thranduil's eyes held some newfound respect for the young elfling. "You cannot! I am your caretaker."

"No, you wanted Orophin to be a caretaker for you." Haldir said.

"You will come with me!"

Haldir glanced at Thranduil and started to open his mouth when his aunt lunged for him and put her hand over his mouth. His eyes glinted. Taenron looked ready to interfere but Thranduil slowly shook his head. "You are a reckless child!" She hissed. "I told your father so. But you will be obedient. Claiming refuge would do you no good. I would take your brothers without you."

Haldir stared at her, anger in his eyes, contemplating what he should do. Then, apparently deciding it no longer mattered, he bit one of her fingers and she yelped and withdrew her hand. "You might be able to try to take them, but my father's money still passes to me regardless." He said hissing. "And whatever agreement his majesty and Lord Celeborn would come to would still leave you with a fine if I do claim refuge because of you. And Orophin will claim the same. You cannot force us out of here. And if I have to I'll teach the baby how to say one word if it means he has to claim refuge too!" Tauredhiel looked enraged and she lashed out and slapped him across the face. He stumbled back once but glared at her angered anew.

"CHILD!" She yelled. "You are nothing more! Now come with me. I did not come all this way to leave you here!"

Haldir looked furious but his words came out calm. "I can give you an hour to clear the Palace before I follow through." He said and turned his back intent on leaving the room.

"I suggest you flee." Thranduil said calmly.

"What kind of father figure are you? If you teach children to act in such ways! Your children must be heathen!" There was, during these times of personal sorrow for the king, only a tightly stretched thread that kept his emotions in check. This woman's words earlier had lit a match that slowly took to burning the thread through slowly, and it would not have been much longer before it snapped. But with those words, she might as well have taken a diamond blade and cut through every nerve Thranduil had ever had and the remaining tendon keeping the thread in tack.

"My son is ten times the person you are!" Thranduil hissed. He drew his sword. Tauredhiel stepped back. "Leave, before I regret something more."

"You could never-." She started.

"Whatever decides our fates makes no sense when they give me one child and you five." Thranduil's voice was low. "Especially when you hardly deserve one." Tauredhiel's face then hardened as well. "If you do not leave willingly, Taenron will escort you at knife point." Taenron looked only too happy to comply. Haldir had turned back, just as offended at her statement as Thranduil seemed.

"I will leave," she finally said, "But give me what is mine."

"Refuge," Haldir called. Thranduil's eyes glittered as he looked over Tauredhiel's shoulder at Haldir who was walking back. His aunt appeared surprised, as if she did not think Haldir would follow through. Haldir's face had been wiped of emotion. He stopped in front of Thranduil next to his aunt. He pointedly ignored her presence and kneeled. "I claim refuge from Lórien." He said, his voice soft but strong. Thranduil glanced once at Tauredhiel who appeared frightened.

"From who?"

"My kin," Haldir answered. Thranduil opened his mouth but before he could answer Tauredhiel screamed and lunged more violently at the child. Haldir was knocked to the ground, having been halfway there, and she looked like she was going to start beating the child. Thranduil motioned to the guards in the room and they came running over and together with Taenron pulled the woman off Haldir.

"Get her out of here." Thranduil hissed. The guards complied, calmly escorting a kicking and screaming elleth out of the Palace. He extended a hand to Haldir who blinked and then grabbed it. Thranduil pulled him up, noting a few bruises on the child but nothing else visible.

"Are you okay?" Haldir stood there silent for a minute. Then his hands trembled for a second before he stilled them.

"I think so," he answered. He seemed to be mentally assessing himself before coming to the conclusion that any worse damage was emotional, not physical. He glanced at the door where the last of the fading screams were heard before the Palace gate shut. His head bowed then, probably from exhaustion.

"I will send word to Galadriel." Thranduil said. "I never fulfilled your claim, and it will save trouble if I do not. But I can relate the situation that she will hopefully understand. If she does not I will fulfill your claim, but for now it will be a last resort."

Haldir nodded slowly. "I never expected you to fulfill it." He said rubbing his arm unconsciously where his aunt had grabbed him.

"Come on," Thranduil said, "You will feel better in the morning after you rest." Haldir nodded, mutely this time. Thranduil's heart swelled for him, the king always having a rather soft spot for children, and he put his hand on the young elf's shoulder. "She will not be let back in the Palace, and none can enter without my knowledge." Haldir looked up at him before glancing back at the floor but not before Thranduil saw the tears building in his eyes.

He glanced around the throne room. They were alone now. Thranduil knelt down so Haldir was now forced to look at him. "You do not have to look so strong," Thranduil said softly. "Sometimes you need to let yourself fall apart so you can build yourself stronger."

"I have Orophin and Rúmil-." Haldir started, but he looked dismayed that one tear escaped.

"Rúmil will not remember this year or the next few. Orophin will understand as well I think."

"But," Haldir said breaking off and lowering his eyes further. Thranduil knew that he had been forced to become father not brother by circumstance, and he suddenly hated whatever evil force had taken this child's parents.

Thranduil did not speak but stood. "Come Haldir." He said. Haldir followed him dejectedly, and Thranduil led him without encountering anyone. They came to a small plain room with a candle lighting it. "Wait here." Thranduil said. Haldir was too weak to argue and sat on a chair without heeding anything around him. Thranduil came back, two mugs in his hands. "Drink," Thranduil said.

Haldir took it mechanically and started drinking. Beyond caring, tears finally escaped his eyes as his face otherwise remained drained of emotion. Halfway through the mug, his hand trembled and Thranduil took the mug from him. Haldir took no notice but was blinking rapidly. Thranduil found his fight against the sleeping draught impressive but the child was exhausted and his eyes fell completely not long later.

Thranduil drained his own mug and stood. He walked over to the sleeping elf and picked him up. He began carrying him back to his room, deftly avoiding other people. His thoughts strayed to the confrontation and he was again impressed with the young child's boldness and intelligence. He had been strong enough to now twice go against that woman's wishes without failing and had been quick enough to bring up refuge. It was something hardly ever used, and most Elves forgot it existed. Thranduil himself kept the information tucked away in the back of his mind in case anyone ever fled to his realm but not enough to bring it up against someone. Now he would remember it though.

He realized, however, that Haldir would know about it. Haldir had been in the process of being trained as an ambassador, and that would have been one of the first things of foreign policy his father would have taught him. What still surprised Thranduil was that Haldir had had the peace of mind to remember it. _You will make a good leader one day. _Thranduil thought, glancing at the now peaceful face in his arms.

He laid the child down on his own bed and pulled the covers over him. Another thought struck him as he left the room. If his daughter had survived, this was the kind of elf Thranduil would want to court, and potentially marry, his daughter. _Perhaps not one of my children. _Thranduil thought glancing back at the sleeping form. _But he had better find someone worthy._

**A/N: Refuge is a thing I came up with based on loosely similar laws. Sorry the chapter was so long. I couldn't break it in half nicely. Enjoy :) And Happy Holidays!**


	10. Father or Brother

_**Sharing in Grief**_

Father or Brother

c.1060 TA

Once Legolas had also gone to bed, the King and Queen laid next to each other still awake, but tired and still partially weighed down by their own loss. "Something angered you tonight." Oiolairë said reading her husband correctly.

"Yes," Thranduil said. "It was Haldir's aunt, and she was…"

"Irksome?"

"To put it mildly. She finds us heartless cowards who teach their children disobedience, and she wants to keep Haldir and Orophin so they can work for her."

Oiolairë stiffened slightly. "So she did come for them."

"Yes," Thranduil answered. "It angered me. I do not understand. People find me greedy for no purpose, but then someone like that comes along and wants to use her nephews to help her pay for her own children."

"How many does she have?"

"Haldir said five."

Anger rolled through his wife then as well. "I suppose that would be difficult but I think we would have that many if we could, and somehow someone like that-."

"I know," Thranduil said softly, her words voicing the same that his had said earlier. He paused, thinking over the night's events again. "Haldir impressed me though." He said. Oiolairë glanced up at him.

"He did?"

"Yes, he stood up to her quite well, probably better than many adults would have."

Her mind searched through his thoughts for the events and he let her see them. "It was impressive." She said. "On his part. I rather want to strangle his aunt."

"Join the army." He said. "Everyone who heard her at all tonight was thinking the same."

"I suppose that is well in case she does try to come back."

"Mhm." Thranduil said.

"I do not understand," Oiolairë said, her voice close to breaking. "Why do such things happen? Why do three elflings lose their parents and have a greedy aunt to take their place? And why does that same aunt have five healthy children and we have one?" She sat up, face buried in her hands. Thranduil sat up and pulled her into his chest where he felt tears start to gather.

"We cannot do that." He said softly. "I do not understand either. But we cannot let ourselves do this."

"Haldir and his brothers never deserved that." Oiolairë sniffed. "And if any of them, Legolas should have been the less healthy for we were more unstable at the time."

"I know," Thranduil said, "We have thought as much before."

"But his aunt gets five? Why does she and Fëanor get so many and not us?"

"Love," he started.

"Tell me," Oiolairë said, more tears escaping.

"I do not have any answers." Thranduil said, one tear escaping his own eye. "No one has come to me with any answers for me to give. There was no reason that any of them should have died. Not that I know of. Perhaps someone has an answer but I cannot find them without leaving Ennor." Oiolairë buried herself further into his arms, not that he really minded. But his thoughts were just as troubled.

Perhaps one day he would find an answer. He hoped it was soon, for Oiolairë's sake anyway.

* * *

><p>They woke up the next morning groggily. They simply lay there for a few minutes before one of them finally spoke. "I thought about something." Oiolairë said. "You had been thinking a lot of Haldir's problem with being father instead of brother. I know we cannot take anyone's place, but there must be a way we can make his load feel lighter."<p>

"You have done a lot of that yourself- with Rúmil anyway." Thranduil said. "But you are right. I will think on it as well. Perhaps a solution will present itself."

* * *

><p>Haldir woke with more grogginess than anyone though, having been drugged. He woke to find Rúmil crying and he stumbled out of bed and stared down into the crib at the child. Rúmil saw him and reached his arms up. Haldir sighed and picked him up, still not entirely awake. He sat back down on the bed, unsure what to do. Orophin walked looking just as tired into his bedroom as well.<p>

"What's wrong?" He asked. Haldir shrugged tiredly as Orophin sat next to him. Both of them leaned up against the headboard as Haldir tried fruitlessly to calm the baby. Finally, he started singing softly, something his mother used to sing to him. Orophin leaned his head on his shoulder as he too recognized the song. It worked, however, and Rúmil slowly stopped crying and fell back asleep. Orophin had already fallen back asleep and Haldir was too tired (and too drugged) to do anything but.

"Where are they?" Legolas asked his parents as they ate that morning.

Thranduil glanced at the door, but when no one appeared he shrugged. "Well, after the incident last night I might have drugged Haldir. They are all probably asleep still."

"Should I get the baby?" Oiolairë asked. "He might wake them up and after all they may need the sleep."

"I suppose, if he has not woken them up already." Thranduil answered, eyes narrowing at Legolas as he said it.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"He remembers all the times you woke us up after some really long nights." Oiolairë said off-handedly as she got up and went to the children's room.

Legolas blushed slightly looking at Thranduil. "I suppose I should be sorry."

"You will be." Thranduil said.

"When?" Legolas asked.

"When you have your own." Thranduil answered.

* * *

><p>Oiolairë caught her breath as she entered Haldir's room. The three of them piled on the bed, now asleep, was both amusing and adorable and concerning all at the same time. Her heart melted and she walked over to the bed, her hand resting on Haldir's forehead gently before she pried the baby just as gently out of his arms. The babe stirred but snuggled into her arms. She grabbed a blanket and wrote a quick note where Haldir would find it. Then she carried Rúmil back to where Thranduil and Legolas were waiting.<p>

"It looks like he did wake them up for a few minutes. Somehow they managed to get him back to sleep and I found them all piled on Haldir's bed asleep again." She said softly rocking the baby.

Legolas' mouth raised slightly while Thranduil appeared curious. "All of them?"

"Mhm," Oiolairë said.

"I guess Orophin heard and went to see what was going on and they all just kind of fell asleep." Legolas said.

"Well, Haldir must have done something. He and Orophin were both up against the headboard. Orophin's head was on Haldir's shoulder and Rúmil was in his arms."

"That doesn't sound comfortable." Legolas said. Oiolairë shrugged.

"They looked quite at ease."

Thranduil sighed. "Well, I have Council. So do you, Legolas." Legolas grimaced but followed his father dutifully out the door and toward the Council chambers. Oiolairë looked thoughtfully down at the child.

"What are we going to do?" She asked herself. There just had to be something.

* * *

><p>After Council that morning Thranduil retreated to his study. He sat at his desk and held a quill over an empty scroll, thinking. Finally he put the quill down and started writing.<p>

_Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel,_

_I believe I have to inform you of a situation that includes most specifically four of your subjects. It is to my knowledge that one recently died in childbirth and her husband, Nemirben, Sailed soon after leaving three children behind. Haldir, his eldest, had been staying here in Greenwood until he got word from his father and we insisted he return when all was over with his younger brothers as they had no means to support themselves. _

_Apparently, when he returned, his father passed responsibility to Haldir but told him there were plans already in place. These plans included giving Haldir, only 100, a job and separating the other two brothers between their aunt and a stranger. Haldir told his father that he had also made plans, and though hesitant, his father eventually agreed and gave his blessing to Haldir before he left. His aunt was less excited and tried multiple times to stop them._

_This would all be blown over, except that last night his aunt, Tauredhiel, proceeded to come to my Palace. Beyond trying to get me to hand over the three of them, she also decided to insult me in front of everyone. I would be inoffended, except she also slapped and tried to beat Haldir for what she thought was disrespect. According to him, it seemed she wanted to bring them back for her own gain. I cannot confirm that, but the way she reacted when Haldir accused her made it seem obvious. _

_She seems to want Haldir to work to provide extra income, and Orophin to become a caretaker for her own children. She was still going to send Rúmil off to someone else. She said that if he did not come, she would take her case as prime guardian before you to make me turn them over. Haldir countered by saying if she insisted on doing such he would claim refuge here._

_All might still have been fine if she would have turned and left then, but she proceeded to grab him to keep him from saying anything. He fought her off and told her she had an hour to clear the Palace. That was when she insulted me. I may have drawn my sword, but nothing more and no intention beyond trying to scare her away. Then Haldir turned and went ahead with claiming refuge. I never fulfilled the claim before she attacked Haldir physically. My guards dragged her out and have set her on the road home. _

_In case it is not clear, I will not give up the children without a fight. I have no intention of letting them return until Haldir sees fit to do so, which at the moment is twenty-five years from now when he is of age. We have more than enough means to raise him and his brothers here. I do not want to fulfill his claim of refuge unless it becomes necessary, but if there is any more coming here from anyone trying to forcefully bring them back, or any signs of such a thing occurring I will. _

_I do request that someone check the children's home as Haldir speculated his aunt might have tried to sell anything she could to make money. He also said one more reason for her wanting to take them in might be because without them there she cannot draw on their inheritance. And if Haldir does not return until he is of age it passes to him. _

_I hope you take this into consideration. _

_The Elvenking Thranduil_

He sighed, rereading his correspondence before rolling it up and walking out to where the birds rested in between flights. He started singing softly and a raven landed on his arm. "Straight to the Lord and Lady." He said. The raven cawed once and let Thranduil tie the letter to his leg. "To Lórien's leaders." He said and the raven cawed again and took off. Thranduil watched it go and then sighed going back to the Royal Wing.

He found the other two boys had recently awoken and Haldir looked like the effects of the drug were still in him. Thranduil felt a little guilty, but not much. Haldir was rubbing his forehead as if trying to get it out of his system and Orophin threw his brother a concerned look. Thranduil saw Legolas entertaining Rúmil while Oiolairë watched.

After the two older brothers finished eating, Thranduil had a plan formed in the back of his mind. Oiolairë seemed to realize this and after combining their ideas in mind together they both decided on a more final plan. Orophin had joined his younger brother and Legolas on the floor and Haldir had turned and was watching with a slight smile on his face. "Haldir," Thranduil said softly. Haldir glanced at him silently. "Care to take a walk?" Thranduil asked.

Haldir seemed to consider, looking at his brothers again before he stood. He followed Thranduil as they walked out the door. Legolas glanced at them for a second confused but Oiolairë reassured him and told him of their plan in his mind. So he turned back to the two younger ones and set about playing with them.

"What did you want to talk about?" Haldir asked softly as they walked.

_This child may be too intelligent._ Thranduil thought wryly. "I suppose it could not just be for entertainment?"

"I doubt it, Your Majesty." Haldir said quietly. All three of them were far quieter and calmer than anyone in the Royal family.

Thranduil was silent for a minute. "In this instance you are right." They stopped when they arrived at a small private sitting room. "In here," Thranduil said and they went in and sat down.

"Is it about my aunt?" Haldir asked, his eyes not quite meeting the king's.

"Well I suppose I can start there." Thranduil said. "All I can say on that is that I sent off a letter to Lórien. It should arrive tomorrow." Haldir jerked his head in a nod, eyes still appearing weary after the night before. "That is not really what I wanted to talk to you about."

Haldir's eyes lifted for the first time and mild interest sparked in them. "Then what was?"

Thranduil considered his next words carefully, not wanting to insult the young ellon. It would only make him feel even worse. "Since you came here," he started, "I have noticed that, well, you are going to wear yourself down."

"But I-."

"Haldir, we brought you back so you did not have to be a father."

"What do you expect me to do?" Haldir asked.

"Let us help, well, more than we have."

"What more could you do?"

"Well, for one, you cannot spend all your time teaching them. You still have much to learn yourself."

"But I-."

"And what will you do when you return home and cannot work because you do not know how?"

"Well," Haldir started.

"Haldir, you can do both and not exhaust yourself like you have been." Haldir looked at him with more interest and it seemed a sparkle of hope in his eyes.

"I can?" He asked.

"If you trust us then yes." Thranduil said. "The same people who started teaching you can help teach Orophin. And I think Oiolairë has grown attached to Rúmil and would watch him while both of you learned."

"I am not sure I understand." Haldir said.

Thranduil looked at him, cocking his head slightly. "Something like this: you all wake up, eat, then Oiolairë or perhaps even someone else can watch Rúmil, Orophin can be taught whatever he wants to learn, and Legolas can work with you. Then a break for lunch and a few hours after for you to help them with whatever you want too. Then nothing but dinner and relaxing. There is no need to push yourselves, especially with grief still near. Trust me Haldir, I know." Haldir was thinking the matter over carefully.

Finally he looked up and nodded. "Okay, we can try." He said.


	11. More Questions than Answers

_**Sharing in Grief**_

_More Questions than Answers_

c.1060 TA

Galadriel read over the letter with her husband. "This is strange." She said. Celeborn nodded.

"Yes, but we will have to investigate."

"For now, however, not openly." She answered and they put the plans together.

* * *

><p>It was a week later when Thranduil received a reply. He again retreated to his study and read over the letter.<p>

_King Thranduil,_

_We received your letter. We are very surprised that this happened. Nemirben's family has been well thought of for a long time. But we investigated the matter anyway. It seems that even though she might have been extremely bitter about them leaving Lórien, the motive is still unclear._

_Money does not seem to be a clear motive. Though not well off, the husband makes more than enough to keep them living comfortably, and they have their own garden that could alone feed all of them for at least part of a year. Their two eldest are older than Haldir and if they really wanted extra money and care either of them could take responsibility. In fact, while she was gone, it seems those two took care of the younger children while she was gone._

_In terms of what you said, until we know for sure what's happened we will not be swayed one way or the other. We will investigate, and trust that for now you keep them well._

_Lothlórien_

Thranduil stared at the letter for a while. _But she said her husband was taking care of them._ He thought as he scanned the letter once more.

He glanced at the doorway where he knew a guard waited. He opened the door. "Can you call Tawarthion?" The guard nodded and Thranduil waited for a few minutes before Tawarthion appeared in the doorway.

"Yes?" He asked.

"I might need you to go to lothlórien." Thranduil said.

"Might?" Tawarthion said, one brow raised.

Thranduil sighed. "You have heard of most of this situation, am I right?"

"Yes," he answered.

"Galadriel said while the woman was gone her children took care of the others. The woman said it was her husband. There are a lot of things not adding up. If you do go, it's not officially." Tawarthion gave him a look but nodded.

"When?"

"As soon as possible." Thranduil said.

"Will you inform anyone?"

"Not yet." Thranduil said.

"What would you like me to do?" Tawarthion asked.

"Become invisible, watch this family, figure out what is going on. Look in the children's home as well. See if anything looks disturbed. Inform me first, and I will tell you if the matter needs to be spoken about to Galadriel and Celeborn. Unless something becomes an emergency, you only send information to me." Thranduil said.

"Well, I thought I was an artist, but now I will disappear and be a spy." Tawarthion said, a gleam in his eye.

"You or Taenron would be the only ones I would send. And Taenron's face is already known there."

"As you wish," Tawarthion said, looking a little too happy about this. "I will leave tonight."

Thranduil nodded. "I will make some excuse for you in Council."

* * *

><p>In that week, a tentative schedule had started for the children. It went much as Thranduil first suggested, but there were still details to figure out. Haldir told them that he could no longer be ambassador as it would take him to far from home. He was to become a Marchwarden instead.<p>

Legolas had nodded slightly. "It is a good idea. You would never be that far from the city. And you already have a start. But what would consist of your training back home? I am not as sure what the equivalent here would be."

"They fight with the army when they must but I think they are most like your army in general. They are the ones that hide in the trees. I know they use bows and swords."

"Yes, that sounds like ours." Legolas motioned to the weapon rack. "Which sword?"

"The two handed ones. Like those." Haldir said pointing.

"Ugh. I will have to get Ortherion to help you with those. No way do I handle those types of swords." Legolas said grinning at Haldir. "I use a sword when necessary, but not those huge ones."

"Huge?" Haldir asked. "Those are not even the biggest."

"No, but compared to long knives they are." Legolas pointed out.

"So you teach me the bow, and Ortherion helps with the sword?" Haldir asked.

"Mhm, but I warn you. Ortherion trained with my father. You may keel over." Haldir looked at him, eyes narrowing.

"Did you?"

"Well, that is not relevant. But you normally would not start training until after you come of age, right?"

"Technically, but we cannot afford that." Haldir said.

"I will speak with Ada about that detail, but that is fine. We start training at Orophin's age here." Legolas said off-handedly. "Come on, let's see how much you remember about your bow." Haldir rolled his eyes as he followed Legolas.

This would be interesting.

* * *

><p>"Is there something you want to do?" Taenron asked Orophin. Orophin shrugged slightly.<p>

"I don't want to be an ambassador." He said. Taenron laughed slightly.

"Well that narrows it down. What kind of things could you do in Lórien?"

"I am not all that sure." Orophin said, biting his lip. "But Haldir mentioned he was going to be a Marchwarden."

"Being a warrior is a hard life." Taenron said.

"What else could I do?" Orophin asked.

"I am not sure, I am not from Lórien. But there are many skill sets afforded Elves. Surely you could find something."

Orophin was silent for a moment. "I want to be like my brother." He said looking up at Taenron.

Taenron hesitated. Training to be a warrior was no slight thing in Greenwood. The Elves were different here. It might be better to let Orophin forget this and start training when they returned home. A quarter of a century was not that long of a wait.

"Let me speak with your brother first." He said to Orophin. "For now, I know something else we could do." He said and Orophin followed him silently through the hallways.

* * *

><p>Later that night, after Orophin and Rúmil were asleep, Taenron found Haldir sitting with Legolas in a sitting room. "How was today?"<p>

"Fine," Haldir answered, "Legolas took great pride in showing off. Nothing unusual." Legolas pretended to look offended and looked even more so after Taenron shrugged.

"Yes, I suppose you are right." Taenron said.

Legolas pouted. "I was showing him how to do it right."

Haldir rolled his eyes, but did not bother arguing. Taenron sat across from Haldir which made the three of them almost a circle. "I talked with Orophin today." Taenron started casually.

Haldir looked at him, more serious. "What does that mean?"

Taenron hesitated. Before he could speak, Thranduil entered the room and stood paused for a second, as if unsure if he was interrupting. _Come in, you might need to be here. I needed to speak with you anyway. _Legolas told him. Thranduil still hesitated before he came in and sat next to Legolas, remaining silent. Haldir glanced at him before looking back at Taenron.

"He said he wanted to be a Marchwarden like you." Haldir's eyes grew alarmed quite quickly.

"But he's only half a century."

"Well, that was not the only problem I saw in the matter. It's one thing to train you so that you are ready when you return. It's quite another to train a younger brother who could not even begin training until he comes of age back home." Taenron said. "Not only that, I hesitate to train him in our ways. Even if our style is suited to the Marchwarden style, it will still make Orophin stand out when you get home."

"That brings up what I wanted to say." Legolas said. Thranduil glanced at him. "We may be training Haldir, but will Lórien recognize that? It was one thing before, with his father already teaching him. But who are we to tell Celeborn or Galadriel that he is ready to protect their nation upon his return. They are not like us. They do not start training anyone until after they are of age."

"The Lady was already going to allow me to work." Haldir said. "It was, supposedly, a settled matter. I know at the time it was still to be an ambassador, but if they could settle that surely this will count as well?"

"Maybe," Thranduil said, "There is a chance they may think about warriors differently, but I think Taenron was right. You, Haldir, may be accepted with what we teach you as soon as you get back. But even if your little brother wants to be a Marchwarden and is not swayed, I doubt they would recognize anything we teach him. They do not start training as soon. When they do, it is a much slower process. We expect ours to be able to fight, possibly in war, as soon as they are of age. That being said, we do not generally send them on particularly dangerous missions or put them on the front lines, but they are expected to be proficient by that time."

"You are already doing a lot that is counter culture from your own." Legolas added. "If your little brother appears the same way- I would rather not risk it. Not now anyway."

Haldir nodded. "I understand that. I would rather he not be a warrior. I hardly wanted too. It was not as much of a choice for me."

"All well and good, but how would Orophin take that?" Thranduil asked.

"We could take a roundabout option." Taenron suggested.

"Yes, but Orophin will see what Haldir is doing. Would he be offended once he realizes it is not the same?"

"Perhaps, but there is the fact that I already have background here. It is not as if I am starting at the very beginning." Haldir said. "I could explain the difference in a way that might make him feel better."

"I still do not like it." Thranduil said sighing. "There is too much of a possibility of hurt upon his return. Besides, he will see all others his age here starting a very real seventy-five year training. It is anything but relaxed."

"I think our training usually lasts a hundred years or more, depending on the individual." Haldir said. "I am not sure if it is the same for the regular warriors, but I am sure it is."

"Which brings a problem to yourself as well." Legolas pointed out. "If your training is accepted, you might be looked on with scorn if you are better than all others who are at least a century older than you."

"If he is better," Thranduil said, "I do not know how proficient the new warriors would be."

"He will be," Legolas said. "If I have anything to say about it." Haldir rolled his eyes slightly at that.

"Please, you show off more than anything." Haldir said.

"We know," Thranduil said making Legolas pout once more, "But Legolas has a point. Twenty-five years here is possibly the equivalent of a hundred years there."

Taenron looked extremely thoughtful. "I do not think Haldir will be any problem. After standing up to your aunt, I think he can stand against anyone who tries to bully him because he's younger." Haldir raised an eyebrow but said nothing.

"Point well taken," Legolas said. "But what about Orophin?"

"That is mostly up to Haldir." Thranduil said. Haldir sighed.

"I do not know what to do."

"You do not have to decide right now." Taenron said. "I can keep him distracted."

Haldir nodded slowly. "Okay," he said, but the others saw the worry in his eyes. Thranduil and Legolas exchanged a glance. He was still too young for this.

* * *

><p>Tawarthion arrived in Lothlórien after a night and day of non-stop travel. He took the next night to rest and then disguised himself and set about in the city. He found Haldir's house, having found where it was from Taenron before he left. He checked the house. Nothing looked out of place.<p>

He then descended the tree and searched for the aunt's house. By listening he found out that they lived not too far from Haldir's house which made sense if they were family. He lingered near that tree, also listening to any word of mouth about this family. Nothing sounded bad, they seemed to be respectable. They did have five kids, and the husband was a Marchwarden.

That night, Tawarthion climbed up the tree and hid above the family's house. It might seem drastic, but after what they had done to Haldir everyone wanted to know why. He pressed himself against the top of the house and listened carefully.

"Naneth!" Someone yelled.

"You are supposed to be in bed!" Another voice yelled.

"But I am thirsty."

"All of you are supposed to be in bed." Someone said with weariness in their voice. After a while all the voices calmed down. And only two were now awake: the parents. They retreated to their bedroom which Tawarthion carefully moved over. Again pressing himself down, he continued listening.

"So what happened while I was gone?" The husband asked.

"I went to the Greenwood to get the children back." The aunt said sighing.

"And?"

"That king of theirs refused to help me, even when he obviously knew the children were in his Palace. Then Haldir blatantly refused to come back with me. He acted very rebellious. I told my brother he should have never left Haldir there. I think they have corrupted him. He tried to claim refuge from me!"

"He what?"

"He first threatened to use it to say there was no way they were coming back before the date they have set in their minds. I never thought he would use it, but then for some reason he changed his mind and tried to claim it before that king."

The words 'that king' were really starting to grate on Tawarthion but he remained where he was.

"And?"

"Well, I tried to pull Haldir out the door with me, but that king had his guards drag me out alone and throw me out. I am scared, love. I do not know what they have done with the younger children. What if they are turning them all into _them_?"

"Have you tried speaking with our Lord or Lady?"

"Not yet," she answered. "I was going to soon."

"Why do they insist on staying there?"

"I do not know."

_Tell me why you want them. _Tawarthion silently pleaded.

"That is unfortunate."

"After all our plans, we were going to raise Orophin!"

"Haldir would not have gotten in the way either."

"No," the aunt said. She seemed to pause. "Curse the youngest for killing his wife and sending him away! It would have been better if he had died and not her. Then at least Orophin would be in good hands. Haldir was lost as soon as he never came home, but Orophin could have been saved."

"We can try to get him back."

"How? If that king," Tawarthion worked his jaw, "Fulfills his claim of refuge, we may not be able to do anything."

"If we can convince someone Orophin is being kept against his will-."

"And Haldir?"

"We will send him off to work if we get him. He will be out of the way. If he really wants to stay there, even, he can. I do not mind if they keep that spawn either. Everything is his fault anyway."

"That might be an overstatement, it was the mother who chose to have another one when she knew her husband could potentially be gone for a long time."

"Still, if she would not have given her life for his-."

"Would you give your life for one of ours?"

She was quiet a minute. "Yes, but she should have known it would ruin everything."

"Maybe," the husband answered. Tawarthion had heard enough.

* * *

><p><em>These people were right. It was not money. Their house was undisturbed so I went in search of the woman's home. I found it and I listened to their conversations. They think Orophin is being held against his will. Haldir they think has been corrupted by us. Rúmil they blame for everything which is why they wanted to separate him. They were letting Haldir work so that he would be out of the way, potentially a very long time. They called Rúmil "spawn" and you "that king". I am pretty sure they blame us for all their problems with Haldir. They want Orophin because they want to "save him". They are going to try to get him back still. They could care less about the other two.<em>

Thranduil had to keep himself from going after the family with a sword himself. His hands trembled slightly in anger as he put the letter down. It did present a worse problem, however, especially if Orophin was trained here. "Taenron," he called. Taenron walked in the study and Thranduil glanced up at him. "Get Haldir," he said, "There is something we need to discuss now. With you as well." Taenron nodded slightly.

A few minutes later he came back. Haldir looked slightly flushed. Thranduil figured that was Legolas' fault. "You can sit," Thranduil said as they both hesitated. Both sat down. Thranduil hesitated a minute before sighing. "A few days ago I received a reply from Lórien." He handed the letter over to Haldir. "This is what it said." Haldir's eyes scanned the letter. He frowned slightly before handing it to Taenron.

"But what could their motive be then?" Haldir asked.

"I am still unsure as to why she lied about it being her husband," Thranduil started, "But I sent someone to Lórien to try to find out more. This is the reply I got." He said fingering the reply, but at first he did not hand it over. A shadow passed over Haldir's place as if he knew Thranduil's reluctance was a bad sign. "It is not pretty." Thranduil said slowly passing the letter over. Haldir watched Thranduil's face for a minute as he handed it over before he read it. His eyes glittered as he read it.

His hand trembled slightly as well as he handed it off to Taenron. Haldir was mute in anger, his face darkened in shadow. Thranduil watched him concerned, but he remained silent. Taenron's eyes looked dangerous as well.

"What do we do?" Taenron asked. Thranduil sat back in his chair.

"We know we are not letting them separate anybody. So we are not letting them take Orophin back. Unfortunately, in terms of trying to accuse anyone of something, I highly doubt anyone will be convinced we are not like they think we are. Unless it is someone who comes here often. Which is all of you right now." Thranduil paused. "But as for accusing Rúmil of killing your mom, we could make a case there if we had too."

Haldir's lips were pressed tightly together, as if restraining himself from saying something he would regret. "Who would blame the child?" Taenron asked more to himself than to anyone.

Thranduil's eyes dropped, knowing both he and Oiolairë would have given up one of their lives if it meant even one of the three they lost could come back. Taenron seemed to notice as his face flushed slightly in shame for asking that even if it was to himself.

Haldir still remained mute. The other two both glanced at him concerned but his eyes were lowered, but what they could see was glowering in anger. Finally Thranduil broke the silence. "Perhaps this does give us advice in another way. If this is truly what everyone would think, it is probably best for Orophin not to be trained as a warrior here." Haldir still did not look at anyone. It was not even certain he was listening anymore.

Thranduil for once considered trying to look into the child's mind to see what was going through there, but he held himself back. He studied Haldir closely, however, and he saw that it was not just anger but a mixture of despair and confusion as well. "Haldir-," Thranduil started again.

Haldir's eyes darted to his, as if surprised his name was being called. His eyes were wide and filled with so many conflicting emotions Thranduil was impressed the child still had a lid on it. Thranduil certainly did not keep such a lid on his. That was one reason 'more dangerous' was used to describe them.

"You can go if you need to." Thranduil said softly. Haldir still said nothing. Taenron looked at Thranduil, concern filling his gaze. Thranduil watched the young ellon for a long moment. "Go, Haldir, calm thyself." Haldir did not move for a long moment. When he did it was with a sudden almost predatory movement as he stood and spun on his heel to stride out of the door.

Thranduil winced at the emotion he could feel radiate off of the child as he left the room, but he remained sitting. Taenron looked slightly alarmed, although almost all of the Guard members were semi-used to dealing with Thranduil when his lid flew. When it came to him, he was either completely unemotional or his cap was blown like Pandora's box. Haldir's strangely capped emotions were therefore somewhat new, but it was small differences like that that made him a Galadhrim and not a wood-elf.

_Legolas, find Haldir. Keep an eye on him but do not let him know you are there. He is very frustrated._ He felt Legolas mentally acknowledge him.

"You might need to talk to Orophin." Taenron said to Thranduil.

Thranduil considered it. "Maybe, before I do I will try to talk to Haldir again."

"Good luck," Taenron muttered.

"We will see."

* * *

><p>It took Legolas a half hour to find Haldir with the help of the trees. He was outside in the woods. He had not left completely out of sorts. He was conscious enough to bring a bow with him. Legolas watched as he stalked through the woods, seemingly calm. But Haldir's shoulders were too stiff, his posture too tensed.<p>

He was near the river when he stopped. Haldir stood still for a minute before he, without warning, darted up a tree. Legolas cocked his head and silently moved up his own tree. Haldir was going as far up as possible, to the highest branches that would hold him. Legolas watched somewhat worried, but Haldir was still a Galadhrim and they were probably just as skilled in trees as those of Greenwood were.

He leapt from tree to tree following the river for a few minutes, but it was not long before he simply sat on a tree branch leaning back against the tree. Legolas stopped far away enough to keep him in sight, but the trees would let him know if either of them were in danger. Haldir stayed there for a long while, swinging his legs that signified his restlessness at the moment.

Legolas was about to call him and say they needed to go inside before the sun went down, but before he could Haldir seemed to sigh and climbed down the tree. His demeanor had changed. Instead of walking with a tensed anger filling his steps, his shoulders were now slumped slightly, his head partially bowed, his steps shorter than they should have been.

As he walked, however, it slowly changed again, as if he was determining his future attitude as he did so. Slowly his chin lifted, his shoulders became set, his stride became more of a lope, and when Legolas caught a glimpse of his face his eyes had an almost frightening determination in them. Legolas wondered if he had seen the transformation of the child to the adult, even if there was technically twenty-five more years.

He was ready.


	12. The Struggles of a Father

_**Sharing in Grief**_

_The Struggles of a Father_

c.1060 TA

Haldir found his brother first. "Orophin, we need to talk." Orophin blinked up at him, curious mostly at his absence that entire day. Haldir sat on the floor across from Orophin and they observed each other for a moment, the younger noticing something had changed within his brother. "Do you really want to be a Marchwarden?"

Orophin looked surprised and then a shy smile covered his face. "Yes."

"Are you sure? I am doing it because I have little choice. You could do anything else."

"Yes," Orophin said his chin lifting slightly.

Haldir's eyes scanned him for a minute before he looked down. "Then there is another problem with that." He started. "Look, everyone back home does not really trust these people. If you come back with warrior training, you may have a lot more insult to deal with. It is one thing for me to stand in the line of fire, another for you. Besides that, back home training would not start for another seventy-five years for you. Even if you train here, you would not be allowed to back home for another half a century."

"But what about you?" Orophin asked, worry clouding his eyes.

"I have to do something." Haldir said. "And this is the only thing that will keep me close enough to the city that I know to do. You have all the options you want. As for what will happen when we get back, I suspect they will test me and then put me where they think I am. But whatever mistrust they have will fall on me, not you."

Orophin was quiet for a minute. "So can I train when we get home?"

"Not until you are old enough."

"What do I do until then?"

"There's a lot of things you can learn here." Haldir said. "Why do you not learn what you can until you have to decide for sure? You may change your mind."

"But I want to be like you." Orophin said.

Haldir smiled slightly. "Well, I am not-"

But Haldir's almost excuse fell on deaf ears. "But you are brave, and strong, and smart-."

He would have continued if the door had not opened at that moment. Legolas stood in the doorway with Rúmil in his arms. "Delivery," he said grinning. Haldir stood, smiled, and took Rúmil from Legolas' arms. The baby was still awake and cooed up at Haldir as he took him.

Haldir smiled but Legolas studied him beyond that. Even the way he normally stood had changed. He was determined, proud almost. He had, until now, looked like his father in almost every way. Now, he actually looked like the warrior he was to become. He had always seemed calm, somewhat timid. Even in standing up to his aunt, he had done it more in pure frustration. That had, though, in Legolas' eyes, been the beginning of the transformation, but this might have been the end.

Orophin was staring up at his brother in almost awe, also aware of the transformation. Haldir glanced up at Legolas and caught his eye. _If I can, I need to talk to your father._

_He wanted to talk to you too._

Even his voice sounded steadier.

* * *

><p>Legolas walked with a silent Haldir beside him toward his family's quarters. It was still almost scary as Haldir walked with his new persona. They walked into the sitting room and Thranduil glanced at the door. Oiolairë was absent. Thranduil's eyes seemed to widen slightly as he also noticed the change in Haldir.<p>

"Were you planning on doing anything about my aunt?" Haldir asked.

Thranduil seemed to take everything in stride and cocked his head. "I had not decided." He said. "I do not think there is much we can do. The only thing we could push was the fact that they blamed the child. But Celeborn thinks we are all mad anyway."

Haldir was silent for a minute. "I do not really care, as long as they do not actually take Orophin away. But for the one matter, I am scared for Rúmil if that is the case."

Thranduil's eyes flashed. "Take me with you. I will tell them different."

The corner of Haldir's mouth lifted slightly. "I would rather not have blood involved." Thranduil shrugged.

"Just a suggestion."

Haldir was silent for a minute. "Does whoever is there know how far this has gone? How many people think that?"

"Actually, it sounded like it might be limited to your aunt, but she may turn the rest of your family against the two of you. And she may try to undo anything we do teach Orophin."

"Well, that may be taken care of. He has agreed to wait to train until it is the normal time for us." Haldir said.

"Really?" Thranduil asked somewhat surprised.

"Yes," Haldir answered.

"And Rúmil?" Legolas asked.

"He will hardly be twenty-five when we return."

"He has a point. I am only worried about his family when it comes to Rúmil. If anyone is going to be in the line of fire, it will be Haldir." Thranduil said.

Haldir looked unfazed. "That is fine with me." He said. "As long as my aunt does not mess with the other two."

Thranduil shrugged. "If that is the case, you might want to wait. See what your aunt tries to do. If she shows any bad signs, you can warn her to ward off. If she still does not, you could try taking it to your Lady. And if it still does not work, knock her out."

"Is that your solution?" Legolas asked.

"Yes, if it is bad enough to bring before me, then I have no problem with it." Thranduil said.

"After she attacked me, I think I can justify doing the same if she tries to interfere when we return." Haldir said.

"Point granted." Thranduil said.

Legolas let out a light laugh. "Well, all said and done I really hope she tries to come back here. I have a feeling Taenron might jump her before anyone else can."

"That is a scary thought." Thranduil said. "But he better keep her conscious so I can deal with her as well."

"That's even scarier." Legolas said fervently.

* * *

><p>A week passed with no news. Nothing was heard of anyone. The week was a strained one on everyone except perhaps Rúmil who was only concerned about getting changed, fed, and held. Galadriel and Celeborn sent no letter. The strain was wearing, and the casualty of what they had each lost was hitting home. Legolas was quiet, Thranduil was tense but controlled, Oiolairë had been found with tears escaping down her cheeks, Haldir was completely stoic in an effort to be strong, Rúmil knew nothing other than everyone around him was sad, and Orophin disappeared for long hours at a time.<p>

On this particular day, Haldir walked down the hall, hair still damp from washing after Legolas and he had finished for the day. As he walked Taenron ran into him. "Haldir, I was looking for you. He never left the Palace, but your brother has disappeared, again." Taenron ended. Haldir sighed and nodded. "I have been looking for him-."

"Peace," Haldir said, "I shall find him." Without another word Haldir headed down a different hallway.

"You shouldn't have told him." Legolas said as he appeared at Taenron's side.

"And what? I was supposed to let him go to their room and find it empty? Or if he suspected nothing and came to dinner to find him missing?"

Legolas crossed his arms. "He has enough on his shoulders."

"As do you." Taenron reminded him. "You have your own cares. Speaking of which, your father-."

Legolas groaned. "What now?"

"Well after a rather tense meeting he went out into the gardens and he has not been seen since either."

"I suppose there isn't a chance they could have found each other?"

"Its possible." Taenron admitted. "But perhaps you should look for him anyway?"

"My father is capable of taking care of himself." Legolas said. "He did take his sword?"

"I don't think so. But he always keeps a knife on him somewhere. He is reverting."

"Reverting?"

"You may not have been alive, but I was. In the Second Age, before all that happened with Sauron, he was restless. He would not stay inside if he was not needed, and he would not sleep but rather walk through the woods. He has been more grounded since, in terms of actually staying inside the palace at night. Until now."

"Why is that?"

"That would be something to ask your mother. But I doubt that would help her in this situation. Better to keep wondering."

"Or I could ask him?"

"I wouldn't dare, but you are his son. He can't actually hurt or kill you." Taenron said and walked away.

Legolas sighed. "Perhaps I should try to find him."

* * *

><p>Haldir searched the palace, and not finding his brother he headed outside. The gardens were a peaceful place. And his brother was yet a Galadhrim, with his heart in the trees rather than on the ground. He skipped down the steps. He searched for his brother's presence, and at last sensed him near. Their bond was yet weak, even for all their trauma. After all, they had barely known each other truly for a month or so.<p>

Haldir sighed with relief and headed in that direction. As he got closer, however, he heard the sounds of muffled cries. His heart weeped as he heard it. He found as he stepped toward the tree that he was not the only one to find him.

Instead, curled in the roots, he found Orophin sobbing into Thranduil's chest. Thranduil himself looked deeply contemplative but more focused on soothing the younger child than his own cares. Thranduil was singing softly but his eyes turned toward Haldir. Thranduil cocked his head and glanced back down at Orophin.

He stood slowly and passed the younger brother off to Haldir. Haldir looked down, possibly ashamed he had not found his brother first, but Thranduil looked him in the eyes. _You have nothing to be ashamed of. I would not bother with words, they are not what he needs right now. _

Haldir nodded as Orophin cried into his stomach and then he slowly sat down, taking the position Thranduil had. Taking after the king, he began singing softly as well. It took a long while for Orophin to calm. The sun was falling when he finally stopped crying. "I'm sorry, so sorry." He said as he wiped his face.

"Whatever for?" Haldir asked.

"I shouldn't," Orophin started but could not finish.

"Tears are not a bad thing. Everyone has shed them."

"But you are so strong. You have not cried. I should be better-."

"That is not true." Haldir said gently. "I am as weak as the next person. You just have not seen it."

"Are you serious?" Orophin asked.

"Yes." Haldir said as Orophin extracted himself from Haldir's arms to look up at him.

"How- how do you act like this?"

"Everyone copes differently. Besides, it is just that, an act."

"When will it stop hurting?" Orophin asked, sniffing.

"I think, though I do not know for sure, that if you were to ask someone like the king, he would tell you that it never really does."

"Then how does he keep going?"

"Perhaps it keeps hurting, but at the same time it might dull. At the very least you can look forward to a time when we will eventually see them again."

"But only if we Sail!"

"Yes and no. There are tales of a Second Singing before Eru. It would be an eternity from now, but we would see both of them then."

"If the tales are true. How do we know this? Besides, its still an eternity away." Orophin sniffed.

Haldir gently pushed Orophin's hair behind his ear. "If we are patient the time might move faster. I see no reason to doubt the tales. We will be sad for a very long time, but a time may yet come when we can remember them with fondness, and happy memories, instead of the mournful ones."

"Happy? Perhaps naneth, but he left us!" Orophin jumped up with sudden vehemence. Haldir might have known this was coming, but he had hoped the younger brother would not feel such bitterness.

"He lost his wife, same as we lost our mother. He offered to take us with him." Haldir said gently. Secretly, he perhaps held some feelings of bitterness deep inside, but beyond that he had been trying to work out his own feelings and not cast his father in so negative a light. At least to the two younger children.

"I could have dealt with that." Orophin admitted. "But he left us long before! He was never home. I barely knew him. I knew him about as well as I knew you. And when it was most important he went the furthest away. He came home because she died, and for nothing else. You were there! You saw how indifferent toward us he was! He never cared for us, not once."

Orophin sank back to the ground in sorrow, energy spent.

Haldir stayed quiet for a moment, trying to decipher his words. Was it true? Had his father truly left them? Haldir had had a much different father than Orophin had if it was true. His father had gone on trips, yes, but few enough of them had been long, and he had always made sure he had time at home. So what changed?

A second son, a son that stayed away from home, nothing more.

"I- I don't understand. That much is true. I have nothing to say in his defense. But perhaps he thought he was working harder for you. Perhaps when they considered a third child, he left home for longer so that he might provide better for both of you. I don't think he was indifferent."

"But you saw him. He would have separated us. He did not care that we didn't like it." Orophin's voice was weak now.

"By that time he was exhausted and in shock. He was trying to do his best to make sure each of us were taken care of. Even if it meant separating us. Without Legolas stepping in, it might have been our fate." Haldir said softly. "Do not judge so quickly. Without reading a person's mind you cannot know for sure what their motives are."

"Then why?" Orophin asked, tears now threatening to crash down his cheeks again.

"I cannot give you the answers you seek, muindor." Haldir said gently. "For I do not know them myself."

"Why would someone leave when they have family here?"

"Because they cannot stand to live in Ennor anymore." Haldir said pulling Orophin back into his arms where his brother used his chest as a pillow. "One day you may know it better, or perhaps you may not. But Elves we yet are, and many will be drawn to the Sea."

"What's so special about Aman anyway?" Orophin sniffed.

Haldir smiled softly. At times he had had much the same reaction. So instead, he began singing gently. Twas a song about that very question, a song that speculated the tales of Aman, and whether or not it was all the Elves thought it to be. Dusk fell and Orophin fell asleep cradled in Haldir's arms while he sang. Haldir sighed and glanced up at the stars. He wondered how on earth others handled raising children. Perhaps it would help if he was not a child himself.

Upon the conclusion that Orophin was now deeply asleep, he wondered how to move himself and consequently his brother. That was when Thranduil returned. "Do you need help?"

Haldir glanced down at his stomach that was currently being cuddled by his younger brother who did not look like he was going anywhere. In fact, when Haldir shifted, his brother only curled deeper into him. "How do you manage to coax a child off of you without waking him?" He asked Thranduil.

Thranduil smiled gently and leaned down. "It usually helps if you keep the child quiet. Believe me, Legolas fell asleep on me one too many times. Keep singing." Thranduil said at Haldir's confused look.

Haldir looked back down at Orophin and then did as the king said. "Maer… Put your hands on his waist." Haldir did so. "Keep singing. Support him with your hands and stand up. Slide him up with your hands to keep him from dragging."

Haldir carefully followed the king's instructions, but most likely it was with far less grace than Thranduil's more practiced ways. At the end, Haldir was standing with Orophin's head now on his shoulder. He cocked his head at the king. "How many times did it take for you to figure that out?"

"Many failed attempts which included a very stubborn Legolas not wanting to go to bed." Thranduil said, hints of amusement in his voice.

Haldir smiled and then looked down at Orophin. "When did you find him?"

"When I left to go out and get away from everyone else, I found him doing the same thing."

"Well we all have wanted to get away at some point." Haldir said as he shifted Orophin.

"Yes, well, as soon as he saw me he burst into tears. I am not sure what that means, I did not believe myself that ugly but-."

"I do not think it was quite that." Haldir said. "He was probably scared he got caught."

"Am I that intimidating?"

"Sometimes." Haldir admitted and motioned toward the Palace. "I should put him in bed."

"When?" Thranduil asked as they started walking.

"Mainly all the time. But especially when you throw things at other people." Haldir said, referencing the fight he had seen Thranduil have with the Dwarves.

"You saw that?" Thranduil asked, cheeks tinting.

"Mmm. I was looking for someone to explain why I was in Legolas' bed when I woke."

"Ah, well, that was not my brightest moment I'll admit."

Haldir shrugged. "I bit my aunt's finger. Twasn't my best moment either."

Thranduil laughed softly. Haldir glanced at him. It was probably the first time the king had laughed since his daughter's death. "Yes. That was quite amusing."

"I am glad it entertained someone."

Thranduil smiled. Haldir entered the halls that they had taken to living in. He slipped into Orophin's bedroom and sat him down on the bed. He tucked the covers around him and then stepped back. Thranduil watched with some admiration. "Did Legolas grab the covers like that?" Haldir asked.

"No, he curled into them so much that one time his mother thought he was going to choke."

"Ah." Haldir said. "Where's my other brother?"

"Don't ask me, I have been gone longer than you have."

"Yes but you can talk to your wife where I can't." Haldir said looking up at him.

"You are a cunning one." Thranduil said raising an eyebrow and turning around. "You will make a warrior yet, if not more."

"You flatter me."

"I might have once flattered those who didn't deserve it, but I learned my lesson."

"What does that mean?"

"It means tis a miracle I even have a wife." Thranduil answered. "But I meant what I said."

Haldir glanced down at his feet, red now coloring his own cheeks. "Hannon le." Thranduil inspected him once more before he moved forward once more.

"Your brother is asleep in our suite right now. Legolas is there too. Apparently he gave up on trying to find me."

Haldir smiled and followed Thranduil to their rooms. They walked in and found Oiolairë sitting on the couch with Legolas. Rúmil was in between them, asleep as Thranduil had said. "So there you are." Legolas said casually.

"I am glad you give up so easily when searching for me."

"If you had been taken captive I might have searched harder, but I figured you were alright." Legolas said.

"That's encouraging." Thranduil said dryly as he took a seat on the other side of his wife, wrapping his arm around her. It appeared as if she had been crying that day as well, as her eyes had dark circles underneath. Haldir shifted.

"I can put him to bed." He said and walked toward his brother. Legolas cradled him and handed him off to Haldir.

"Shouldn't be too hard, he sleeps more than any other elfling I've seen."

"Maer." Haldir said. He turned away, leaving the family alone. Legolas watched him go curiously.

"Where did he find his brother?"

"In the gardens." Thranduil answered. "I had already found him."

"I thought you might have found each other since you both disappeared." Legolas said.

"Mmm," Thranduil replied. Oiolairë had leaned into him and he felt her deep sorrow. He kissed her forehead. "I think we all need to be put to bed."

"Can you carry me?" Legolas asked teasingly.

"I did enough of that." Thranduil said as he stood, pulling Oiolairë with him. "You can carry yourself."

Legolas pouted but stood. "Fine." He said and left.

"You still fear for him." Oiolairë said.

"Legolas?"

"No, Haldir."

"He has become a father when he is barely old enough to consider courting." Thranduil sighed. "Of course I fear for him. At the same time, however, he seems up to the challenge. He has done well enough thus far. And the way he tucked Orophin into bed earlier tells me he cares enough for them."

"Then all is as well as it can be."

"Not for you." Thranduil said, inspecting her with worried eyes. "You have been crying again." He said brushing his thumb under her eye.

"I cannot help it." She said, and her voice choked. "I am a miserable failure."

"You are not a failure." Thranduil said pulling her into him.

"I do not know their mother, but at least she gave enough to allow them to live!"

"And died in the process."

"I would have gladly-."

"As would I, but now that question is moot. You gave as much as you could. Trust me, I know."

"Then why were they allowed to live, and not ours?"

"Stop asking yourself questions there are no answers to. Life is a gift, and it was not granted to us at this time. Legolas is enough." Thranduil said.

"I know. But I-."

"Shhh. Perhaps in another life? Besides of the two of us, I believe I am the weaker one, else we would have had children far sooner." He said. "But you gave me the same answer I am trying to give you."

Oiolairë looked up at him with wide eyes. "This is different! You were poisoned."

"No, its not any different. The circumstances are, perhaps, but not the answer. What was it you were _always _telling me?"

"It's not your fault." She muttered, looking down at her feet.

"Precisely." He said. "And its not."

"My mind perhaps understands, but my heart yet does not. I need more time."

"As much as your heart needs, just do not leave me in the process."

"I promised you I wouldn't."

"I know, but for a moment I was afraid you would." Thranduil admitted. "Legolas was too."

"When?"

"When you fainted." Thranduil said gently. "He was afraid it was something much worse."

"Ai. I am sorry."

"You had no control of your body at the time, you have nothing to be sorry for. Now come, you need rest. I do not think you have slept deeply since." He said, not allowing her a chance to protest as he guided her to the bed. "Sleep well, love." He said and none too subtly used his own power to coerce her into sleeping. He watched as her breath evened and the weight of the spell half-closed her eyes. "I will stay the nightmares for now." He said even softer. True to his word, he kept watch the rest of the night, fully determined that she would have one night of rest. Instead, he turned her dreams to happier memories.

Memories of a time without as much sorrow.


	13. Letters from Lorien

_**Sharing in Grief**_

_Letters from L__órien_

c.1060 TA

A month after Tauredhiel left, a letter from Lórien finally arrived. "Your Majesty," Galion said to Thranduil as he entered the study. Thranduil looked up and motioned at the butler.

"Yes?"

"A letter has come from Lórien." He said.

Thranduil's brow creased. "From the Lord or Lady?"

"I am not sure." Galion admitted.

Thranduil motioned for Galion to hand him the letter. "Stay for a moment." Thranduil said and examined the seal. It was a plain seal, not the one he was used to seeing. He frowned and then broke the seal and opened the letter.

_Elvenking Thranduil,_

_I know this is not the usual way to address such a letter, nor was it a normal seal, but I did not want this to be official. Tauredhiel has come to me and asked for us to interfere and get the children back. When I looked in her eyes, I saw nothing of evil intent, but I did see desperation. I think perhaps her motivation was a need to take care of what was left of her brother's line, but it turned into something worse as she got more desperate. _

_I am not sure if she truly blames the youngest for the loss of her brother, but it is possible. After seeing what I did, I am more inclined to your case but she is going to fight for Orophin. She believes Haldir will be fine there and is willing to leave him be as he lived there for the past fifty years. Rúmil she believes might be fine if you are unwilling, but would rather him go to the home he was offered. Orophin she says should be raised among his family. _

_I do not know what you plan to do, but I warn you she is going to drag this out. You will receive an official letter in a few days. Ready Haldir if you must._

_Lady Galadriel_

Thranduil raised an eyebrow as he finished the letter and sighed. "Once he is done with Legolas, bring Haldir here."

Galion inclined his head and stepped out the door. While he waited, he set the letter aside, turning to royal matters, but he kept his mind open and as he worked, his mind also worked on this matter. At long last, as much of the Palace readied for the afternoon meal, Haldir appeared at the door. "Your Majesty sent for me?"

"Come," Thranduil said. "Sit for a moment."

Haldir sat across from Thranduil. The child had become far less subdued in his presence. While he was stoic at best, Haldir had been quiet and almost ashamed in his presence. He had been far from appearing confident. Now, as if the transformation he had recently undergone had also changed this, he appeared confident and now Thranduil reconsidered him as an ambassador. Even if he had no option of doing such anymore, he would be ready for it if he ever did have that chance.

"What is it?" Haldir asked.

Thranduil silently passed Haldir the letter. Haldir scanned it, surprise in his eyes at the end. "What does it mean?"

"Well, it means you aren't out of this yet, and it means we have to make a plan. I can fulfill your claim, but then it will have to be proven that there is reason for you to escape. Refuge is meant for victims and criminals, and so once a claim is fulfilled the other nation will investigate the claim and if there is no grounds for needing a safe haven you will have to return home."

"Is the fact that she tackled me good enough?" Haldir asked.

"We can at least start there if you wish to go such a route. After that we would build a case on the fact that she blames the youngest."

"What else can we do?"

"Well, I am not known for being a stickler for the rules." Thranduil said wryly. "If we do not fulfill your claim I can probably come up with enough ways to stall to last a decade or so if not more. Depending on how creative I decide to be. It could be quite fun, but it also may be too much work. What we really need is a way to keep both Lórien and your aunt off your back for a long enough time that your stay here is relatively uninterrupted."

"How do we do that?" Haldir asked. "There is no way."

"There might be." Thranduil said. "Well there is one way but it involves a sword and I doubt that would endear me to Galadriel anymore than I already am." Thranduil said. "But there must be a more subtle way." Thranduil paused glancing at the painting on the wall. "We have a few days yet before another letter arrives. We will have some time as Tauredhiel goes through Lórien's court system. After that we will have to have an answer ready."

Haldir seemed to be contemplating something. He was staring at his hands where one finger tapped the others. Thranduil let him continue in his thoughts as he looked as if it was important. "What if," Haldir looked up at him. "There is a rule in Lórien. It does not exist here, but it does there."

"What is it?"

"If a child is orphaned, although I am not sure we qualify since our father Sailed, but the rule suggests that if claimed as a ward by another the claim must be held until they are proven unstable. My aunt may try that, but we can prove she is unstable from what she did whilst here. And then-."

"If I claim you, they would have to recognize it?" Thranduil finished.

Haldir's cheeks colored. "Well it would not have to be you. Anyone here would be fine as long as no one makes a claim before they do back home."

Thranduil leaned back in his chair. "Well, well, I'm impressed. How do you know these things? It would have nothing to do with being an ambassador."

"It was in one of the books I had to read." Haldir said looking down at his hands.

Thranduil raised an eyebrow but moved on. "There was a similar law in Lindon whilst I lived there. I do not remember the subtleties but I think it pertained to anyone who could not take care of themselves, not just orphans. You are right. This is the best way to go. And if she has not claimed Orophin then it will make everything easier. Although your Aunt will try to claim that we are unstable."

"Surely the Lord and Lady-."

"I am not sure they think I am stable either, but I have enough weight from the past that it shouldn't be a problem. If nothing else, they would not dare claiming I am for fear of really making me unstable. We shall see. But once proven stable, it works until they are able to take care of themselves?"

"Yes, and I think the nation actually gives the protector a small sum of money to help take care of them." Haldir said.

"Well, I doubt Celeborn would be to keen on giving me money, but we shall make do. But that is a thing to keep in mind. As soon as you are of age, I would claim your own brothers."

"Me?"

"Yes, otherwise when you return people may try to claim them. Mainly Orophin by your aunt and Rúmil by whoever was planning to take him before. And if you do claim them and it is fulfilled, you will be given an added income."

Haldir stared at Thranduil for a moment before he blinked. "Yes I suppose so."

"For now, you may go find your brothers. I think Legolas took Orophin to the library. And Galion will be more than happy to bring you a late lunch." Thranduil said looking at the doorway where Galion stood looking surprised. He had been about to bring Thranduil lunch.

Galion looked down at the tray and then at Thranduil. "Of course." He said setting the tray in front of Thranduil and then walking back out. Thranduil looked amused as he picked up a piece of bread.

"It's actually quite fun being a king sometimes. Especially after traumatic events. The entire Palace does anything you say because they are scared you'll explode."

Haldir looked as if he did not know what to say. He swallowed. "Is that from past experience?"

"Now that you mention it I might have thrown something at them once. A wine bottle I think. They were trying to cheer me up."

"I take it it did not work?"

"Oh it did, but only after it slightly amused me as they went running for the hills." Thranduil said with a wry smile. "Go, your brothers are waiting for you."

Haldir bowed his head and then turned. He was almost out the door when he stopped and looked back at Thranduil. "Hannon le." He said quietly and then left. Thranduil watched him go and smiled.

"Anytime."

* * *

><p>They received the first official letter a week later. Thranduil opened it as soon as he got it.<p>

_Elvenking Thranduil,_

_It has been reported that three children of Lórien reside illegally in your care. Without guardians they must be returned and trial must take place to determine where they are to stay. You are charged to give them up without a fight and come yourself to determine thy part in this, as a charge of kidnapping also is being held against you. If you do not come, an arrest is able to be made._

_Lord Celeborn._

Thranduil snorted. Celeborn knew him both too well and not enough. If the Lord truly thought he would answer to such orders, even had the claim been just, Celeborn had lost his mind. The letter seemed ironic to him. But the charges within were real. So Tauredhiel was blaming him? It would not be the first time he was charged by a third party of something he never did.

He smiled, somewhat amused at this attempt. But he knew he would have to send some sort of serious reply back. One that did not include actually taking any of the three brothers back to Lórien until they were ready. He tapped the desk for a moment before he stood. He walked out of his study and to the area Legolas trained Haldir. He leaned in the shadows of the doorway, watching as Legolas attempted to disarm Haldir. So far it was proving unsuccessful, but Thranduil knew Legolas was testing the child more than actually trying to disarm him. Was Haldir really a child though?

Thranduil sighed as he watched and looked back down at the letter. No, perhaps not. Thranduil might have experienced a lot of trauma in his life, but at least most of it had happened after he was grown. He hated the fact that this had happened so early on in three children's lives. Perhaps it was worse this way. He had been fully capable of taking care of himself without his parents and no court system had plagued his recovery.

At long last Legolas called off training for the day. He spotted his father first. "What are you doing here?" Legolas asked.

Thranduil raised an eyebrow. "It is a good thing for your sake that you are my son."

"Or?"

"Or your disrespectful questions might not be so easily dismissed." Thranduil said. "And even now I'm not sure I have patience enough to dismiss it."

Legolas' cheeks colored. "I am sure you can find something else to take out your anger on. That dead log, for example, looks like prime material to chop into tiny pieces."

Thranduil rolled his eyes. "As you say. In either case I have come for Haldir. A more official letter has come."

"Oh? From Galadriel?"

"No, her rather audacious husband." Thranduil said. Legolas raised an eyebrow and Thranduil passed him the letter. Legolas read it, his eyebrows raising as he did so.

"He is rather bold." Legolas commented and then he frowned. "Are you going to go?"

"Have I ever listened to such demands?" Thranduil asked. "If Thingol couldn't command me as such then Celeborn certainly cannot. I am going through a traumatic recovery myself am I not?" He asked Legolas with a hint of mischief in his eyes.

"Your eyes say you might have recovered." Legolas said. "But for my own health I shall agree with you. Haldir! Come." Legolas said as he spotted Haldir coming back after he had put his weapons away.

Haldir walked up to them bowing to Thranduil as he did.

"You see?" Thranduil asked Legolas. "That is how it should be done."

Legolas rolled his eyes. "You said it yourself. I am your son."

Thranduil sighed. "You are hopeless."

"You raised me." Legolas said, a wry smile on his face.

"I try to forget." Thranduil said biting back. Then he glanced at the confused Haldir who quickly wiped his face of emotion when Thranduil glanced at him. "The official letter came. Before I even show you, you should know that I am not so humble as to bow to their demands."

"What are they?" Haldir asked. Thranduil handed him the letter in reply. Haldir glanced down at it and then looked back up at Thranduil. "They blamed you?"

"I do not think they did, but Tauredhiel might have. It's not the first time I have been blamed for such things and I am certain it will not be the last. In any case I have several things on my side."

"Such as?" Legolas asked. "Your pride that would not bend if you had been guilty?"

"If I was guilty I would not send a reply." Thranduil said. "Or perhaps even read the letter. Beyond that Celeborn holds no power over me. He is not High-King and even if he was-."

"You still would not listen." Legolas said. "Ortherion tells many stories. Now tell us, what are you going to do?"

"I am going to send a reply. One that says 'no'." Thranduil said. "I think it would annoy Celeborn greatly don't you?"

"Ada, this isn't about you and him." Legolas said cringing.

"Yes, perhaps, but he took delight in writing the letter, regardless of the fact that he knew I would not come."

"Ada-."

"Fine, fine. I shall do something a little more politically correct. Although it does not sit well."

"Nothing expected ever suits you. Now come, how shall you argue that you are staying here?"

"Simple. It is not illegal for anyone to be here. They are traveling at their own will and with their father's blessing. His father had already put Haldir in my care, no need to mention it was for a different circumstance. Beyond all that, I will say I have enough care without adding a court trial to it. I am, after all, in mourning myself."

"Are you going to guilt them into getting you off the hook?" Legolas asked.

"That's not a bad idea." Haldir said, making the two of them look at him. The young ellon's cheeks tinged slightly as they did but he continued. "All four of us are. Mourning, that is. If we make it sound like we are in no condition to travel-."

"They might allow compassion to rule." Legolas finished. "What then?"

"If we can get them to agree to postpone the hearing until we have recuperated we could simply take a long time to recuperate." Haldir said shrugging.

"You will make a lawyer rather than a marchwarden yet." Thranduil said as he looked down at the letter. "There is one flaw in your logic, however. If we plead mourning they might bring the court case here. I don't imagine they would. Celeborn is smarter than that. I don't think he would quite be ready for such a thing as to march into my palace and try me for a crime he knows I did not commit. Or they might pester us until such time as we are 'ready'. Either way might cause some hassle, although I would almost like to see the first."

"That would be terrifying." Legolas said with a slight look of horror on his face.

"Perhaps it might be a bother, but its a way to stall. They cannot do either without us writing back. Then they will have to deliberate again."

"True enough." Legolas said. "Well are you going to write this letter?"

"I might as well. I would have Haldir write it, if he claims he stays here of his own free will no one can stop him. But I do not think Tauredhiel would be convinced he wrote it of his own accord."

"Or she would think that my brothers were kidnapped by both of us." Haldir said.

"That too." Thranduil agreed. "I suppose I shall write it. If it comes down to a question of whether it is legal for them to be here I will claim all three of you. And as soon as you are of age you should send a letter with your own claim."

"You would have to release me first." Haldir said frowning.

"We shall send both letters together then." Thranduil said. "Either way, you should. Else they be taken from you upon your arrival. Your aunt may try to prove you an incapable caretaker, but as long as you act normal you should be fine."

"We shall see then." Haldir said. "That is yet twenty-five years away."

"That time will pass before we know it." Legolas warned him. "As did the past half a century."

"Indeed." Thranduil said. He then glanced back into the hallway. "I do believe, however, that both of you require sustenance, and I think Galion is trying to give you your lunch."

Galion was standing there, two trays balanced in his hands looking half-frustrated and half-amused.

"Ah, hannon le." Legolas said walking past his father and taking one of the trays.

Galion looked unsure as to whether or not Legolas was truly thanking him. He was much more relieved when Haldir took his with only a nod of the head and a murmured thank you. "You see Legolas? Perhaps you should be more like him." Thranduil said. Legolas only narrowed his eyes at him.

"Unfortunately, Adar, I have a credible excuse to be more like you."

At that, Galion's laugh from his retreating back made Thranduil scowl and Haldir was not as successful at hiding the smile that spread across his face.

**A/N: The idea of "claiming a dependent" is not based on anything Tolkien said himself but I find it a very elvish thing to do. Especially since there would not be many dependents and most Elves are well off enough to be able to take care of a child for a short time. **


End file.
